Male and Female
The Image of God
On Being a Man
A Theology of Breasts
It was the kind of overheard-on-public-transport conversation that you’re hanging out for when you’re about to write an article on (ahem) Being a Man:
Girl: See, I’d really like to be a guy. Guys have it so good.
Guy: Why?[Excellent! I’m about to find out first hand what the great things are about being male; the really enviable things that even the girls would swap for.]
Girl: Well, guys can walk around without a shirt.
[Hmm. Nothing too grand to begin with, but she’s just warming up. Maybe it was just something she wanted to get off her chest. Now we’ll hear the important stuff.]
Guy: Yeah, sure, what else?
Girl: Well, a guy doesn’t get called a slut; it’s just called “being a guy”.
Guy: Yeah, a slut is just a girl’s version of a guy. What else?
Girl: Umm... well... I’m sure there’s lots of things. I’ve got this all worked out. Like, a guy can pick up just based on personality. Girls can’t say stupid stuff but guys are more attractive the dumber they are.
Guy: Well, if the girl has blonde hair, blue eyes, and like, really big breasts...
Girl: It doesn’t matter what she says.
Guy: Right.
There you have it: the glory of what it is to be a man. This is all the young lady could come up with and sure, they were joking around, but I could tell she was really trying. The tourist on the bus would understand that when it comes to men, our culture values:
- the man’s freedom not to wear a shirt
- the man’s freedom to sleep around
- the man’s freedom to be unattractive and stupid
The convenient paradox is that thanks to Aussie humour, a man’s flaws are his chief assets. What my fellow traveller has picked up on is that if girls sleep around they have been cheapened; if a guy sleeps around there’s a pat on the back. If a girl is forgetful, lazy or unattractive she’s deficient, but a guy can slip in a few self-deprecating comments and he’s a lovable comedian.
Of course, if you’re only paying attention to advertising, you’re not being given many options as a man. The message that we are incompetent, inefficient, lazy, try-hards who are easily manipulated by women and particularly by their breasts, is loud and clear. We laugh at the predictability of it all: “I hate it when the girl next-door sunbakes topless.” “Yeah, so do I.” (The man rushes upstairs and the woman finishes the Fantastic Noodles.) Girls are taught that men are puppets: Use them to your advantage. Guys think, “Hey, I’m getting a laugh for being predictably shallow. Can it get any better than this?”
Well, for a Christian man, it can.
What do you see when you look at the men in your church? I don’t mean the enthusiastic youth, but the men. Do you see bad pray-ers who don’t step up to ministry roles? Men who are constantly complained about by their wives, sometimes in frustration, sometimes as a joke? Men who find it hard to step out of the dictated fascination with sex, beer and football?
The problem is that it’s far too easy to be an Aussie man.
But while it's easy, there's a quiet frustration and discouragement. There seems to be nothing good in us. Once you realise that it’s actually not very funny that men are lustful, uncaring and always in the wrong you feel a little worthless. Appreciating that on top of that, even the best men are nothing like the ideal godly husband, leader and father leaves you with little to get up for.
We know from 1 Timothy 2 that we need to pray. We know from Ephesians 5 that we need to give up our lives for our wives. We know from Ephesians 6 that we should bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. These things are completely absent from the behaviour of our cultural role models and what we don’t see we don’t do.
Rather, prayer is something for wimps and women. “Giving our lives up for our wives” works out to be a combination of not leaving our clothes on the floor and cooking occasionally. It's much easier to talk about last night's game than find out how everyone's really going.
Is there anything good about being male? Anything better than the opportunity for shirtlessness? Our weaknesses are a guide to our strengths. Adam was the gardener and his curse was that the gardening would be difficult. Do you want to know what a godly man should look like? Think about all the things you find difficult and the things your wife/girlfriend complains about: reverse that and there he is.
But lets get one thing straight: men like breasts. Is that so bad? What does God have to say about breasts?
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Proverbs 5:19 (ESV)
A command to enjoy breasts. And a warning that follows:
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
Proverbs 5:20 (ESV)
So we have an appropriate and inappropriate appreciation of breasts in the book of wisdom. A few pages over, in the Song of Songs, we have a description of someone enjoying some breasts:
Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters.
I say I will climb the palm tree
and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
and the scent of your breath like apples,
Song 7:7-8 (ESV)
Could it be that by laughing at men about this, appropriate enjoyment has been made ridiculous? We have laughed at what is to be male but when we act male we can take no pleasure in it because it’s so predictably, ridiculously male.
Are you married? Well, “let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
And stop being lazy about the rest.
Ben has decided that at 23 he finally qualifies as a man.
Comments
Whoa came out rough and blunt about the breast issue.
What were some of the female responses? =)
on 01 November, 2002 10:54 PM
Did any other men read this article as soon as they read the title??
on 02 November, 2002 1:01 AM
Well, I read the article (and I’m a girl). I honestly don’t think about what it’s like to be a Christian man in our secular society, so it’s great to know struggles for them, so we can pray and encourage them!
on 04 November, 2002 9:46 AM
As a recently married man who is lazy, has an inclination to get his gear off, and really likes breasts… I would like to say ‘Nice one tiger’. Good article… Now excuse me while I go make the bed, pick up my undies off the floor, and look at my wife’s breasts…
Tony Story on 06 November, 2002 12:56 PM
interesting article. since i’ve nothing glib to add; i’ll simply thank you for writing it. thanks...jkh
jk henry on 01 January, 2003 3:07 AM
My congratulations to Ben on this brilliantly-written, scriptually sound and concise eye-catcher.
A fresh take on this strikingly relevant issue, so good that I’ve passed on the webpage to four mates.
Rae on 07 February, 2003 10:56 PM
Being one of those mates i have to say its good insight on us guys.
Sim on 08 February, 2003 5:33 PM
A magnificent post. We must revel in our maleness. We must embrace what it means to be a man with all its vibrancy and complexity.
Let’s overwhelm our senses in the presence of women. It is what being a heterosexual male is all about. It is the way god made us.
We can choose not to accept the cartoon character shallowness of our representation and be a complex compassionate sexual male being.
On a shallower note I, for one, have never once objected to a woman walking around without her shirt on.
chris on 08 May, 2003 2:32 PM
Well, interesting title for an article but quite frustrating for content.
Twas hoping for a kind of in depth understanding of what breasts are provided for in the human and many other species. Sticking with the human for now, we might say the shallow end of the pond (the masculine) sees them as advertisements for pleasure. Pleasure of course via sexuality that induces the human to procreate. And therein lies the rub for creation (pun otherwise intended).
IF we read carefully our Genesis book we find that we are “images” of elohim, or god. This begs the question for a thoughtful reader-Which “breasts” are true images, man or woman’s? An image of an image are what men’s breasts are, forming no useful function, unlike the female’s, that do. So man is the image of the female, and we know that it is the feminine that life creates first. As of yet, there are no babies born without wombs. By this very simple argument we can deduce that god is inherently “bent” to the female, for she is concerned with images, and the real deal. This becomes ever more apparent the closer we examine our scripture. Genesis is quite confused in it’s understanding of life’s origins as the second chapter goes on to prove. But this is to be expected as it was written by men who were eliminating the feminine from the “beginning” (of their written word, of course)
David Richarde on 27 July, 2003 7:16 AM
Eeeeek! Watch it David...thats very dangerous ground…
Great article though Ben…
J on 14 August, 2003 8:41 PM
Eeeeek! Watch it David...thats very dangerous ground…
Great article though Ben…
J on 14 August, 2003 8:41 PM
David Richarde:
Adam was not made in the image of Eve. They were both made in the image of God. If anything, Genesis 2:22-23 tells us that Eve was made from Adam. She was made as a helper for him (v. 20). Your assertions, unfortunately, are quite wrong and out of context.
For a reference on God, His image, and how He refers to Himself in masculine language, please read this article:
God the Trinity
I hope this was helpful. Keep pursuing our Lord by reading His Word! =)
Nate on 08 October, 2003 5:27 AM
Whoaa, what a great article!
Really to the point, I guess
some Christian articles have
to be like this, rather than
to be PC.
a on 11 April, 2004 1:43 AM