Beyond sloth
Wednesday, 26 September, 2007
Sometimes I think I'm the laziest person in the world. Seems incredible, yes? But I do. Laziness is one of those seven deadly sins I feel like I have a tendency for, and the only thing that keeps me from wallowing in it is my fear of it. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll know that I'm not a sloth, but sometimes I think that if I stop, I'll never get going again—that I'll just degenerate into couch potato-ism or totally self-indulgent pottering around the house. I lean towards motionlessness (hence the not exercising enough). I don't get cabin fever (unless I'm on a plane—then I want to get off). I'm sure there's some sort of story out there about a girl like me whose desire not to move resulted in her becoming a tree.
At the same time, I'm also easily distracted. It's almost four in the afternoon on my day off and I'm meant to be doing my tax, blogging about Hong Kong, throwing together the long-awaited much-promised first draft of the first chapter of my graphic novel, doing the accounts (though I'm not sure how to account for Hong Kong; we took a certain amount of money over plus we were given some by relatives, and we pretty much spent it all except for one thing that went on the credit card ...), finding that invitation to some Moore Women event I need to RSVP for, and then, if I have some time left over, tackling the rest of the old web extras (I'm up to “Other Religions” which means I'm over halfway through the alphabet!)
Maybe that was totally unrealistic. It is my day off. (Thank you, Lord, thank you!) I've noticed that I've been a bit sluggish lately. (The vertigo still hasn't gone away. I went to see a doctor on Monday afternoon and she prescribed some pills but told me not to take them unless it got really serious because my blood pressure is low. I've never been told I have low blood pressure in my life! The low blood pressure may be causing the slight vertigo. The doctor gave me a referral for a blood test, so the following morning, I skipped breakfast, drank way more water than I normally do and a nurse took four vials out of my arm.) At work, I find I'm operating best if I write myself a realistic To Do list at the beginning of the day on a Post-It note (e.g.
- CHN;
- Read email;
- Send that thing to that person;
- Edit this piece of writing;
- If I get time, edit this piece of writing.
which is how it went on Tuesday). Then I manage to get through it all and go home satisfied.
But today is my day off and surely GTD shouldn't apply! I've written myself a To Do list but have little motivation to get through it.
What I feel is the result of the tension between my desire to rest and my desire to be productive (and my fear of laziness). Today I got up at 11 and threw the sheets in the washing machine. I went out, stopped to talk to my neighbour, bought eggs and soy sauce from the local IGA, dragged the bins back down the driveway, made myself lunch (way too much lunch ...) and got distracted by reading blogs until now. Did you know that Robert Jordan died the Sunday before last? (16th.) It might be achievable to read the entire Wheel of Time series now. Neil Gaiman has been in Japan and was invited to visit Studio Ghibli (okay, I'm experiencing Neil-envy now!) He wrote, “I had sushi for breakfast in the fishmarket, sushi for lunch, and am about to go and have sushi for dinner. Even the Japanese think I'm pushing it a bit.” and I remembered reading the American Gods tour journal with Kathleen and being astounded at the amount of sushi he consumed, and cracked up. I also handwashed the things that needed to be handwashed, and tried three times to make myself a cup of tea.
I've come to the conclusion that I suck at waiting. I don't mind waiting in doctor's surgeries or waiting in queues or waiting for trains because I can easily amuse myself by reading trashy magazines or knitting or just staring into space thinking about something, but short waiting periods of inactivity frustrate me. So I'll set the kettle to boil, then go off and put the laundry in the dryer and set my computer to load, and then completely forget I boiled the kettle, come back two hours later and think, “Oh yeah! I was going to make myself some tea. Oops!”
Perhaps I am too lazy to get myself organized on my day off to actually do anything. Perhaps I need to give myself permission to rest (rather than be lazy). Perhaps I don't really understand what laziness (or sloth) really is. While writing this post, I've had C.S. Lewis's explanation of gluttony in chapter 17 of The Screwtape Letters running through the back of my head and I wonder if there needs to be a similarly detailed one for sloth. Beyond Sloth like Beyond Greed, perhaps?
(Kudos to Gordo for the title of this post.)
Blinks:
A way of funding writing in the future: pitch and idea and get people to support it.
Place where you can hire play equipment for parties, etc.
How to recalibrate the home button on your iPhone.
Unsolicited manuscripts accepted by Pan Macmillan with certain conditions.
Thought Balloon is a group blog in which the writers tackle a new theme every week? month? with one-page scripts. This URL is for their Phonogram ones.
How to sew a zipper on a knitted garment.
Issues organised by tale.
|
|
Disqus comments
Other comments
I’ve always secretly feared I’m the laziest person on the planet. My dad used to tell me that I was clever, but lazy (that might explain my fears!). This fear doesn’t motivate me, though. I’ve always admired you coz you somehow manage to get loads done. If nothing pushed me, I’d get nothing done!
I explain it in terms of inertia & momentum, etc.
That was such a good week. Reading Neil. Book shopping. Crochet.
Psst. Did you know about the new festschrift for Michael Hill on the seven deadly sins? Not that I think you are actually slothful, but that’s one book you might not need to write ...
Ali
Yes, I’d like to read that! I think there’s a copy lying around at work somewhere ...