Cancer the Crab
Tuesday, 17 May, 2005
I don't pay much attention to horror-scopes but it occurs to me that being born in July is quite appropriate for my current state of mind and recurrent habit of whinging. The absence of a proper day off is gnawing away at my bones and, in my almost-old-lady cantakerous state, my brain keeps devising lists of dislikes:
I hate ...
- lead singers who don't sing in tune (I'm talking about you, You am I!);
- people who honk their horns at me when I hesitate when making right hand turns because I'm scared that the car coming straight at me will demolish me into little tiny pieces;
- chicken liver (in whatever shape or form);
- Mike Raiter's style of lecturing (though I do like Mike Raiter; it's just he speaks in explosive bursts—it's very hard to take notes);
- the way my nose blocks up when my extremities are cold, thus rendering my speech completely incomprehensible;
I think I would make a very bad missionary; I'm not coping well with these changes. I think I am surviving and it helps to know that this is only temporary and it is certainly better than the alternatives. I love my in-laws; I just don't like living with people other than Ben. I don't know how I'll cope when/if kids come along (though they probably will be relegated to the same innocuous category as Ben). My heart goes out to Deb with her ghastly flatmate situation. How such circumstances mess with one's sense of well-being. I am sick of intruding onto other people's space and not having any space of my own (the room we are in at the moment is only really big enough to hold the bed we sleep on. Oh for a desk!!)
(I wish I had copied out the audio book excerpt on the soundtrack of Oscar and Lucinda [as I do not own Oscar and Lucinda the novel] because it is such a beautiful and elegant example of “show not tell”. Instead, I only have fragments [taken mostly from the subject lines of old emails]):I hate ...
- prose that contains too many participles, adjectives and substitutes for the word “said” (basically, prose that “shows, not tells”)
“Shall I tell you my idea?”
“Oh yes, do, please.”
“It involves glass.”
“A subject close to my heart.”
“How does Hassit enjoy his living in Boat Harbour?”
She thought, “Fool, fool, do you think I care for Hassit?” She straightened her cutlery. She said, “Well enough.”
“It is like the stairs in the library—it comes in pieces—pre-fabricated ...!”
...,” he said, contemplating her upper lip ...
All their emotions were fused together in this glass vision in which they saw what cannot be seen—wonder, joy, the transparent traceries of angels dancing.
One cannot read one's Bible at the breakfast table if others are addressing oneself in conversation at said breakfast table ... which therefore means that one does not read one's Bible when one should—especially now, given the circumstances ...
I hate ...
- parking tickets (especially the unappealable ones. What a waste of $70 just because we parked too close to the corner);
- inefficiency;
- getting the same question from a hundred different people;
- my friends telling me they don't want to sit next to me in the upcoming Greek exam because I walked out early in the first one;
- the aorist middle indicative;
- cheap biros which clot ink;
- Event Horizon;
- not having enough time—especially to write all the fun projects that have been rattling around in my head;
It is hard to make myself go to bed at a decent hour when there is so little time or space for me.
I hate ...
- reading bad writing;
- editing bad writing;
- having to be nice to people who write badly about their writing—especially if they don't think they write badly;
- dealing with people who aren't happy about the way you've edited their bad writing to turn it into good writing because they think their way is better (it's not);
Oh dear, I haven't done my Doctrine 1 readings again. And John Woodhouse was so nice to me in giving me the name of a good commentary on Daniel.
I hate ...
- celery;
- cockroaches;
- carnations;
- relatives laughing at my Chinese (it doesn't improve my motivation to learn your stupid language, folks);
Today I finished knitting Loretta's scarf. She started it, got bored and asked if I would finish it for her. Unfortunately I don't have a picture. It was 30 stitches across on 4.25mm needles using one and a half balls of pink 100% wool, one ball of fine light yellow Mohair (I think it was Mohair) and almost one ball of dark pink Velveteen. The pattern was a bit complicated: Row 1: k5, p5, k5 p5, k5, p5; Row 2: the opposite of the above; Row 3: same as Row 1; then after three rows change colours (in the order of pink, dark pink and light yellow). I added tassels to the ends and made her a flower to pin on the end but I couldn't find her when it was done so I put it in her pigeonhole as a nice surprise (giving people surprises makes me foolishly happy. I suppose it's a quick fix—like drugs, really).
I hate ...
- headaches;
- misuses of the Bible (eg. today's talk in women's chapel);
- rush hour traffic;
- R&B, dance and techno;
In my sympathy, I have imitated Deborah in buying that Paton's Resort Knits pattern book so I can make this. Unfortunately Zhivago yarn is a little expensive. A friend gave me the number of Bendigo Wool Mills who sent me a shade card and an order form with a promise of 10% off my first order if I put it in before this Saturday. $10 for a 200g ball of 100% wool is really good.
I wonder if I am getting worse. All I want to do is knit all day. Nothing else.
Blinks:
A way of funding writing in the future: pitch and idea and get people to support it.
Place where you can hire play equipment for parties, etc.
How to recalibrate the home button on your iPhone.
Unsolicited manuscripts accepted by Pan Macmillan with certain conditions.
Thought Balloon is a group blog in which the writers tackle a new theme every week? month? with one-page scripts. This URL is for their Phonogram ones.
How to sew a zipper on a knitted garment.
Issues organised by tale.
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Other comments
Its good to hate.
I hate lead singers who don’t sing in tune (I’m talking about you, You am I!)
I haven’t heard any recent You Am I stuff lately, but I quite like Tim Rogers’ singing!!
I hate relatives laughing at my Chinese.
How’s this? I made my Chinese hairdresser crack up when trying to tell her how to cut my hair in Chinese.
I don’t like watching the news with my grandma because she always asks me what’s going on and I can’t explain it. I struggled to say “Western Australia” in Chinese - she had a good laugh at my expense!!
I can empathise, Karen! I’m also very good at creating hate lists (though fortunately a little too lazy to post them on my blog). It can be so hard to be loving and patient sometimes!
I think it’s perfectly acceptable to hate Event Horizon, though (I assume you meant the movie?) It’s one of my least favourite movies of all time!
I must let the world know that the flatmate situation has vastly improved. Housemate eccentricities can be turned for one’s good (eg. one may be a control freak who must have the bathroom “just so”, but this is made up for by them taking care of all the bills/maintenance).
Your friends are being silly about that exam thing. Are you sure they’re serious?
Tim Rogers sings loverly.
I stick on a cd when stuck in traffic, and enjoy the opportunity for do-nothing time.
Why not aim to buy and start using a fountain pen? Very classy.
Carnations are indeed the devil’s bloom. So very naff.
I’d much rather knit than write this stupid report at work.
Karen, I’ll support on the You am I thing, they are boring, and Tim Rogers’ vocal notes do follow there own melody(of sorts).
It must be horrible to actually know when others are writing poorly. I love claiming ignorance on this point.
Relatives laughing at my Chinese..
Nah, not my Chinese, Michelle is stoked whenever I pick up another phrase. Benny laughs but he’s like 5 so he’s allowed to. My German on the other hand, deep and painful psychological scarring on this point.
Event Horizon…. I didn’t mind it, I liked the theory involved in the travel technonlogy, I liked the medieval styled reinforcement of the fear of technology, i.e. opening/entering a realm of evil due to technical advances(just like mobile phones eeee-val).
Pens? I just lost my Parker, so this is another sore point.
Exam seating situations. Atleast it wasn’t because you smell..
Breathe in, breathe out. Remember
‘A wiser fella than myself once said “Sometimes you eat the bar, and well, sometimes it eats you”. Take it easy dude’
on that note,
“Don’t let the sounds of your own wheels make you crazy”
Sorry for double posting, but I got an upto date hate.
Chewing Gum under desks.
Uni computer labs. Right now. Sim has chewing gum on his shirt and his belt.
Argh…..
Woohoo! I’m innocuous!