It's funny how the same lessons hit you over and over again, just in different ways. Recently I've been thinking about the things that drain you and the things that have a restorative effect on you. I know I've blogged about this before—specifically, in my post about MTS, and givers and takers. I guess it never occurred to me that that sort of thinking applies to ordinary life, not just ministry—although you'd think the application would be obvious. I mean, the same thing could be said about the stress cup (an image from 2005), although expressed in a slightly different metaphor: the more stressed you get, the more full your cup gets, and when your cup starts to overflow, then you're in trouble.
If I may, allow me to use the rather similar metaphor of the well to describe what I'm talking about. The well stands for your emotional, psychological and even physical energy. Various things will drain your well—work, relationships, stress, conflict, ministry. Various things will fill it. If the things that are draining it outweigh the things that are filling it, that's when you start getting in trouble. Everything seems harder, things going wrong are more upsetting, it's easier for you to get angry, and you may even feel suicidal.
It seems to me that one of my biggest problems at the moment is keeping the balance—making sure that the things that are filling the well are equal to or greater than the things that are draining it. I was thinking about my life at the moment, and why I'm finding this year harder than last year (and the year before, and the year before that), and I think this is why. Last year, I quite happily worked my four days a week, ran a household, blogged, wrote, knitted and did Faithful Writer things on the side. This year, it's all a lot more difficult, and I think the well thing is part of it.
I've noticed this among some of my friends, too. From what I know about their lives (keeping track of their day-to-day through social networks and the like), the things that are draining them are far outweighing the things that are restoring them. This means that they're far more stressed, anxious, tired and prone to depressive thoughts than other people I know.
Now, for some people, that's understandable when you consider the load they're carrying. There is only so much you can do about the volume in the stress cup, and certainly everybody's stress cups will have varying amounts of dregs at the bottom (dregs that are near-impossible to get rid of; you can minimise them, but you can't make them go away forever). I guess you need to ask God for wisdom to see your life realistically so that you can balance the draining things with restorative things—know when to say no—know how proactive you need to be to deliberately carve out R&R time. That's not an easy thing to do because, in a sense, no one (well, no one human; maybe divine) can truly know the answer to that question except for you.
So on Saturday at the end of the week when I was drained and tired, I stared to ask myself “What are the things that restore not just me, but people generally?” and “What can I do to increase these things so I don't end up the way I am now, with my well completely empty?” Here's the list I came up with (and I realise that some of these things may overlap with my R&R list). I hope you'll be able to help me add to it.
I haven't worked out the answer to the second question yet (“What can I do to increase these things?”) But anyway, what do you find restorative? What can you add to my list?
seen: Moon 15/10/2009
read: The Incredibles 11/10/2009
seen: She's the Man 05/10/2009
read: I Kill Giants (Joe Kelly and J. M. Ken Niimura) 04/10/2009
read: Astro City The Dark Ages Book 1: Brothers and Other Strangers (Kurt Busiek, Brent Anderson and Alex Ross) 04/10/2009
seen: Children of Men 02/10/2009
seen: Metric (The Metro) 30/09/2009
seen: 500 Days of Summer 25/09/2009
seen: The September Issue 18/09/2009
seen: Gilmore Girls: Season 1 17/09/2009
read: Flight (Volume 1) (edited by Kazu Kibuishi) 16/09/2009
seen: Ponyo 11/09/2009
read: Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) 05/09/2009
heard: Aimee Mann (Enmore Theatre) 04/09/2009
heard: Ben Folds Solo (Opera House) 31/08/2009
read: Phonogram: Rue Britannia (Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie) 26/08/2009
seen: Northanger Abbey 20/08/2009
read: The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) 18/08/2009
seen: The Phantom of the Opera 17/08/2009
seen: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 10/08/2009
seen: District 9 10/08/2009
read: Shortcomings (Adrian Tomine) 02/08/2009
read: AIR Volume 1: Letters from Lost Countries (Willow Wilson and M.K. Perker) 28/07/2009
seen: Persepolis 25/07/2009
seen: Ghost Town 25/07/2009
heard: Gutter Twins (Seymour Centre) 23/07/2009
seen: Coco Avant Chanel 20/07/2009
seen: Gutenberg! The Musical (Seymour Centre) 16/07/2009
seen: So You Think You Can Dance? Australia Live Tour (Sydney Entertainment Centre) 11/07/2009
seen: Every Little Step 07/07/2009
seen: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen 03/07/2009
seen: Synecdoche, New York 30/06/2009
seen: Charlie's Angels 27/06/2009
seen: Penelope 26/06/2009
seen: Coraline 10/06/2009
seen: The Sky Crawlers 08/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Ultimatum 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Supremacy 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Identity 06/06/2009
seen: Stick it 05/06/2009
Congratulations again
Don’t laminate your ultrasound picture
That is my advice.
Congratulations! This is so fantastic!
Thanks so much for sharing all of this… people swap engagement stories but rarely pregnancy stories! And it’s kind of similar don’t you think, all this excitement leading up to a big day!
So happy for you guys! Actually never been more excited for anyone except my sister! I think it’s because I think that you will both be amazing parents and love the idea that someone could grow up in your family.
Looking forward to many more posts on the topic.
Lovely news, Karen.
Thanks everyone! I will be sure to ask for help when I need it!
Great pic!! Peanut is cute! :D
Praying for you all!
xx
:D
I had a similar sort of morning sickness.. except I threw up! I’m suitably impressed that you coped OS.. that must have been tough.
It sounds like you’re doing marvelously otherwise!
Book recommendation on something a bit less technical and a bit more human: ‘Birth’ http://www.birthnet.com.au/
Praise be to God indeed! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
Congratulations, Beilharzen! Welcome to the slightly-bewildering world of pregnancy (and birth...and children...). God has blessed you greatly with this new life. We’ll be praying for Peanut’s growth and development, and for you guys as you prepare.
I’m sure you’re surrounded by baby veterans, but always happy to help with books/advice/recommendations/listening.
B&L;
Excellent job Karen! You SHOULD be pleased with yourself!
Have you discovered http://www.ravelry.com ? It is an excellent site with thousands of free patterns in its database, lots of support, tips, forums etc and of course - friends like me? Look me up when you get there - fionag77
PS Are you just wearing a bulky dress or are you sporting a bump under that dress?
oooh.... It’s done and it looks great on you! xxx
Well done on all that hard work! It looks great and will be very snuggly come winter!
Thanks for letting me know, Timo!
Hi there,
Thanks for pointing out the shortcoming on our website. I’ll pass it on to my colleagues and hopefully it will be rectified soon.
The documentary at Fashioning Now was by Holly Kaye-Smith; I’d be more than happy to put you in touch with her if you’d like.
Again, thanks for the comment, much appreciate it!
Kind regards,
Timo Rissanen
Thanks Mark! Much appreciated!
Rich survey, Karen. Particularly I was struck by the notion of Jesus being clothed with our sins. I heard recently somebody suggest the crown of thorns was a kings crown but it was made of the symbol of the curse in the Garden - thorns. I would like to read your thoughts about Joseph’s coat of many colours.
Looking forward to the next installment. Regards,Mark
It is lovely - and looks great on you.
You’ve made me want to read it - though I may need an interpreter at times!
Well done with the sewing!
I think it looks good - very relaxed and spring-y.
Hey Sandra! Thanks for the tip! I read it yesterday, but I struggled a bit because Lewis doesn’t start from the Bible. I wasn’t convinced by his argument. What did you think?
Interesting post Karen - Thanks
I like the ending too! :D
xxx
Fantastic post, Karen. Just great. Thanks!
Thanks Bec! Eternal life just keeps getting better and better ...
I do like the way you ended this post - excellent thought.
Personally I don’t feel that way. Maybe that’s something you should blog about?
Wow. Lots of things to pick up on there. It’s been interesting to see the changes to your blog these last 6-12 months: Twitter is certainly more immediate, but are there (gasp) downsides to having its constant buzz in the ear?
Is our (already fractured) ability to concentrate on a single relationship at a time further jeapordised by the regular buzz of tweetdeck (and worse yet, by the imagined sense of loss that goes with being off the grid)?
Or am I just projecting my own fears?
Hi Karen!
If you’re still thinking about this… I just read CS Lewis’s essay “Learning in War-time” which exactly addresses this issue (ie. how can we justify cultural & aesthetic pursuits when people are going to hell around us?). Have you read it? i’d be interested to hear what you think..
(i have it in his little volume “Transposition and other Addresses”, but it’s easily findable online)
I’m doing my own series on the trials and tribulations of writing on my own blog here http://sedshed.blogspot.com/search/label/From%20Head%20to%20Hand
It’s coming along slowly
Coincidentily, I stumbled upon the above Phonogram vs. the Fans cover when digging around for ID concepts for Salt. A disturbingly brilliant image.
Thanks Karen. At the very least, this post gives some context to your myriad of phonogram tweets. At best, it has reinvigorated my stagnated appreciation of comics.
Seriously, though 4,549 words. Is that the best you can do? I say, longer!
Hey @RodeoClown! Yes, I neglected to mention Gillen writes about gaming. Guan said once he had the ideal job: writing, comics and games.
As far as I know, McKelvie doesn’t trace photos; he just draws (so talented ...)
You should give Phonogram a try. Be warned, though: series 1 is a little different to series 2—still clever but there are some things that are a bit strange in it if you’re not used to the fantastic.
Whoops, I stuffed up that link, sorry.
It was to Rock Paper Shotgun where he writes (he also has a standalone blog as well.
I didn’t know Gillen wrote comics until I saw the last phongram reference you made on here. It’s odd as I only knew of him as a videogame jounalist (which he is also really good at).
I read the sample issue of phonogram they have up at the Image comics (I think) site.
It looked pretty interesting - I like the subtlety involved in telling the story - the references aren’t all forciby thrust into your brain by the writer.
Do you know if the art is done by tracing photos or just dtawn?
I certainly don’t understand enough about pop music to really get that comic series, but I’m glad you’ve shared how you came to appreciate comics.
I’d say go and make some short comics. Seems like it will make the longer stuff easier to put together.
You’re right. I don’t really understand. But I do so love reading your writing. It’s like you’re speaking inside my head and excitedly telling me something.
Thanks Sarah! Feel free to share your own thoughts on the subject.
I’m a Christian, I’m a writer (well, I’m working on my first novel which is nearing completion) and I felt your post so PERFECTLY captured the dilemmas I’ve been thinking about.
KAREN!!!! it looks so amazing!!! i cant believe how beautiful it is. Everyone at work is just amazed at how talented you are. I’ll get in contact with you soon xx
I love it, Karen. You must teach me how to do this.
Showing her daughter that women are great by doing tours and walking in the footsteps of famous women. I like that this article is about engagement.
Jordan White, editor for Marvel, answers questions.
Jamie McKelvie answers questions.
Vision therapy as a treatment for ADHD, learning disabilities and even autism. The scientific community's opinion. The results of concentrated therapy.
Kieron Gillen on Phonogram, Siege, Ares, Loki and his collaborative relationship with Jamie McKelvie.
Superheroes and how they have changed the way we see urban landscape. Their attraction to New York.
Kieron Gillen talking about Phonogram's run and the effect it had on its audience.
Guy Gavriel Kay's official website.
ESV in MP3 form: complete BIble is USD 30.00.
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