I never finished my blog series on MTS, did I. (Still, how would I know when I've finished???) One of the things I always meant to blog about was fundraising—or, as Ben Pfahlert calls it in his article “Putting the FUN back in fundraising” (Briefing #349), “heart-raising”. Doing the accounts and reassessing our giving for 2008 has brought the subject to the forefront of my mind again, along with talking about it with Elsie the other day. (I apologise in advance for my ranting.)
I reckon Ben Pfahlert's article should be read by every single person in ministry. He makes some great points—the most significant being that you are not so much asking people for money as trying to share with them a vision and inviting them to participate in the work of God's kingdom. Fundraising is such a humbling experience; it's hugely uncomfortable asking people for money—especially in our society where you are your career and the amount of money you earn. You almost feel like you're bludging off everyone else, and you start to feel guilty—yes, guilty—for not working in a “normal” job (which is ridiculous because, as anyone who has ever done ministry knows, ministry is a hundred times harder and more demanding than a “normal” job. Okay, I exaggerate, but you get what I mean!)
Still, fundraising is an essential part of the MTS experience. That's what Richard always used to say, and I think he had a good point: you need to know how to fundraise because it will help you in whatever ministry you do in the future—particularly if it's a new ministry that you want people to get behind and support. In a way, you're not getting the most of the MTS experience (i.e. a taste of what it's like to do Word ministry full-time) unless you engage in it. Sure it's nice if whatever organisation you're working for can pay you so you don't have to do it, but you still need to learn.
Why? It's because it's good for you. You start learning more about yourself—about your limitations and weaknesses. You start to see that you can't do it all. You realise that the only thing you can do is throw yourself on the mercy of the living God. Your faith starts to deepen and grow as you trust in God to provide—to move people's hearts so that they will partner you in this work you're trying to do.
Secondly, it's good for your supporters. That's why Ben Pfahlert calls it “heart-raising”. In partnering you, they learn to be generous. They learn to share their wealth, not hoard it. They remember once again that all the earthly riches we own have been given to us by God. God owns all the money (Haggai 2:8); we just look after it for him. And generosity is good for the soul (cf. 2 Cor 9:6-15).
So fundraising needs to be an essential part of your ministry. Most people don't see it like that: they think that all the evangelism, training, Bible study leading, Sunday school teaching, youth group running, one-to-one meeting they do constitutes “ministry” but fundraising isn't part of that. They need to shift their thinking and see fundraising as an integral part of their week. It's something you do along with evangelism, training, Bible study leading, etc. It's a bit like admin: admin is a necessary chore (especially for people who are no good at it), but if you don't do it, the rest of your ministry doesn't happen. So you need to factor it into your week—just like your prep time, your admin time and your rest day. It should feature in your timetable otherwise you'll never get to it and it will drop to the bottom of your priorities.
At this point, I should clarify: fundraising is not just about asking for money. That's part of it, but it's certainly not the main point. As Ben Pfahlert points out, it's all about partnership. It's not you alone begging from the faceless men with checkbooks; it's you assembling a team—an army, if you will—to work towards this goal or vision together. You are on the frontline; they are your rearguard. You're all in it together. Therefore, fundraising involves the following:
Setting the vision: What are you hoping will happen in the ministry you're doing? Do you want to set up a maternity clinic in the slums of Nairobi, start a weekly Bible study in the Creative Arts Faculty, or train three girls in how to share the gospel with their friends? Whatever it is, you need to share your vision with your supporters. You need to fire their imaginations and get them excited about the work you're doing—because it's really God's work. This means you need to outline what you hope to achieve during your time doing MTS (and it may not happen—that's okay), and keep reminding your supporters about it.
Keeping in touch: My first point leads into my second: you need to keep your supporters informed of what's going on in your ministry. People have invested in money in you so you have an obligation to let them know how their money is being put to good use. <rant> In the past, several ministries we have supported have not bothered to keep us informed. This was not only frustrating, it was difficult to know what to pray for them (apart from the usual). Because we had no idea what was happening in those ministries, we decided to stop supporting them. One of them sent us an email to thank us for our support over the last couple of years, but then had the hide to ask us to keep praying for them. With zero information coming through, I don't think so, brother ... </rant> This is why fundraising should be an integral part of your ministry week.
There are various ways in which to keep in touch with your supporters. Newsletters are the most popular. Some say that newsletters should never be longer than a double-sided A4 page. Some people receive a lot of newsletters and prefer things to be kept short and sweet, with summaries of the main prayer points appearing somewhere prominent for easy reference. Personally, I love newsletters that give you a good picture of what's been happening in the ministry. One of the CMS missionaries in Africa writes one of the best newsletters I've ever read. He's quite a good writer—he's warm and personable (and personal), he's honest and he makes you feel like you're really there, experiencing life in ministry alongside him. It's an absolute pleasure reading his missives. <rant> Some people just cram as much information as possible into their newsletters, throwing in the occasional paragraph full of pious gobbledy-gook and Christianese. </rant> But that doesn't help me. I don't get a sense of how you're finding it. I don't feel like you're being honest with me about how it's going. I won't get a good sense of what to pray for you.
Some newsletters are next to impossible to read because the writer hasn't paid attention to how they present their information. (Maybe I'm just sensitive to this sort of stuff because I go to a visually oriented church ...) I'm not saying that all ministry workers also need to be graphic designers; I'm just saying they should take a bit of time to ensure that their newsletter is a little easier on the eyes—e.g. use a bit more whitespace (like margins!), don't have huge slabs of uninterrupted text, don't use a font that's incredibly hard to read, indicate the beginning and end of paragraphs clearly, maybe throw in a few photos (as long as you've got permission from the people who appear in those photos!), etc. It's not rocket science; if you find it difficult to read, your supporters will too.
Newsletters are just one way of keeping in touch. (Richard used to recommend that we aim to write about four newsletters a year, and he'd get us to write in our diaries when the next one was due. He said one way to do it was to write a paragraph or a couple of sentences every week and then put them all together around the date. That way you don't have to write the whole thing at once.) But there are other ways too: short weekly emails, blogs (though then there's the problem of confidentiality; a blog is a lot more public than an email), events like supporters' dinners and afternoon teas, etc.
The last thing I should say about keeping in touch (and such things as newsletters) is that writing about your ministry allows you to pause and reflect on what's been happening and how it's going. Sometimes you can't get a clear picture of things until you stop and process it all. You may not realise that the reason why you're struggling is because you've run five events in the past two weeks, plus you're organising the faculty weekend away and you haven't had a day off since July.
Yes, keeping in touch is good for both you and your supporters.
Praying for your supporters: Richard used to encourage us to do this. It's because, as I've already said, fundraising is about relationship. It's not like when the Sydney Breast Cancer Foundation rings you up to ask for a donation, and you hand over your credit card details and never think about them again. Your supporters are in this with you. And, in some ways, you are supporting them as much as they are supporting you—like different platoons in the same army. This means you have to work at maintaining your personal relationships with your supporters—particularly key supporters. Key supporters aren't just people who give you the biggest cheques; they're also your closest friends. Hopefully they're as excited about the vision as you are and they understand the rigours of what MTS is like. Key supporters don't just support you financially, they can also support you materially (friends offered us their holiday house for the week once), emotionally (you can talk to them and debrief with them, and they in turn give back to you. Plus they may provide the sort of company you need to just relax and unwind because you won't have to minister to them the way you minister to the students on your campus/people in your church/kids in your youth group, etc.) and spiritually (by praying for you, reading the Bible with you and asking the hard questions about your walk with God). I did this with Elsie last year: we would meet up around once a week to read the Bible and pray for each other, I would ask her about how things were going while she was doing MTS, and I would try to be a good friend to her and partner her in her ministry. Sometimes we didn't read the Bible or pray—sometimes we just met to chat or to hang out—but it was still heaps helpful to both of us, not just her.
Thanking your supporters: <rant> It is absolutely appalling the number of ministries that don't do this. I know it's God's wealth and we're just sharing it around, but saying “Thank you” is still nice. It's an acknowledgement of your supporters' support. It's appreciation. </rant> Elsie made cards for her supporters. She also had a thank you afternoon tea, and invited people around for dinner at her house. Supporters' events (like the ECU Wollongong Supporters' Dinner) are also a good way to say thank you. Even if you just say a general thank you in your newsletter, it's still better than nothing.
One final thing/rant (which is probably particular to me because I'm such a structured over-organised person): fundraising should start heaps in advance. If you're going to start MTS in 2009, 2010, 2011, etc., you should start talking to people about it now. Flag it early, plant the seed of your vision and then keep watering it. Keep people informed of your plans and how your thinking has progressed. And when things do come together, ask people to partner you and ask them early. <rant> It hugely annoys me when people start the fundraising process at the same time as when they start MTS. This is mostly because I usually set our budget for the year in December or January. Call me inflexible, but you see if you can find an extra couple of hundred after the year has already started and you've already worked out your financial commitments. Sometimes we are able to give a bit more once we get our tax return, but that's if we get a tax return; the last two years I've owed the government money. </rant>
On a related note, I do have a question: is it better to support just a few ministries and give them each more, or is it better to support a number of different ministries but not give them as much?
seen: Moon 15/10/2009
read: The Incredibles 11/10/2009
seen: She's the Man 05/10/2009
read: I Kill Giants (Joe Kelly and J. M. Ken Niimura) 04/10/2009
read: Astro City The Dark Ages Book 1: Brothers and Other Strangers (Kurt Busiek, Brent Anderson and Alex Ross) 04/10/2009
seen: Children of Men 02/10/2009
seen: Metric (The Metro) 30/09/2009
seen: 500 Days of Summer 25/09/2009
seen: The September Issue 18/09/2009
seen: Gilmore Girls: Season 1 17/09/2009
read: Flight (Volume 1) (edited by Kazu Kibuishi) 16/09/2009
seen: Ponyo 11/09/2009
read: Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) 05/09/2009
heard: Aimee Mann (Enmore Theatre) 04/09/2009
heard: Ben Folds Solo (Opera House) 31/08/2009
read: Phonogram: Rue Britannia (Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie) 26/08/2009
seen: Northanger Abbey 20/08/2009
read: The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) 18/08/2009
seen: The Phantom of the Opera 17/08/2009
seen: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 10/08/2009
seen: District 9 10/08/2009
read: Shortcomings (Adrian Tomine) 02/08/2009
read: AIR Volume 1: Letters from Lost Countries (Willow Wilson and M.K. Perker) 28/07/2009
seen: Persepolis 25/07/2009
seen: Ghost Town 25/07/2009
heard: Gutter Twins (Seymour Centre) 23/07/2009
seen: Coco Avant Chanel 20/07/2009
seen: Gutenberg! The Musical (Seymour Centre) 16/07/2009
seen: So You Think You Can Dance? Australia Live Tour (Sydney Entertainment Centre) 11/07/2009
seen: Every Little Step 07/07/2009
seen: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen 03/07/2009
seen: Synecdoche, New York 30/06/2009
seen: Charlie's Angels 27/06/2009
seen: Penelope 26/06/2009
seen: Coraline 10/06/2009
seen: The Sky Crawlers 08/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Ultimatum 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Supremacy 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Identity 06/06/2009
seen: Stick it 05/06/2009
I don’t think it’s exclusively the change of temperature: young babies like to be cuddled up (or wrapped in a blanket or similar) as they adjust to being on the outside after so long being wrapped up on the inside.
Oh yeah, it makes perfect sense that babies would cry if you put them in a cold bed! I totally never thought of that!
I love your posts, they are so fascinating! :D
Oh Jess! There are so many good things about Sydney
Looks like really nice adventures! I don’t really think of Sydney as a place to explore.. hmm.. you have opened my mind up to The Staycation.
I get depressed at the adrenaline crash also because then I have time to think about how shitty everything is lol.
Hmm...food for thought indeed. V. interesting, thank you for posting
lol! Karen, you’re so frank and I love it. “the non-constipating kind” of iron pills. hahaha.
i know how hard it is to not tell people the sex of your baby. I am tempted to tell strangers or acquaintances what you’re having because, as Ben reasoned with the waiter, I’ll either never see them again or it’s not like their going to tell anyone of consequence.
Thanks Kathleen! Glad you’re finding them interesting!
These posts are fascinating, Karen, and I’m happy/sad for you.
Hey Little! One of the things that astounds me is that people all over the world give birth everyday in different circumstances, and they seem to get through it. Maybe all the bells and whistles of the western world are simply that—bells and whistles, and things we do to make ourselves feel better about such a painful and momentous occurrence. I’m sure Mongolia has its own ways of looking after their expectant mums!
Great post, Karen.
As I said to you last Friday: the Toturo thing is gorgeous!
Thanks for posting about the changing relationships between friends. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with my best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend and the loss I feel. It’s been 18mths now, but I guess it’s taking longer for me to deal with because he’s not something we talk about and I don’t often see them together. However, it’s still known. It’s good to know I’m not alone or going crazy or whatever.
Also, thanks for the updates on Peanut. Can’t wait to meet him/her!
I think that your child will one day be thankful that they can read about what their mother was thinking. They won’t have to wonder if you’ve forgotten anything or just telling the good things! I think the positives are more believable when accompanied by the negatives, that’s just more realistic.
The PGP sounds really hard! Also not something that people talk about, so is it hard to get understanding from people when you need to go a little slower? Though perhaps they just expect that of pregnant women… gah, there are so many steps at MM! :(
I worry about the money stuff too… though I guess in Mongolia maybe they won’t do all those medical things so I won’t have to pay for them!
Keep blogging! You know I’m fascinated. ;p
Thanks Miriam! That’s good to know!
Hi Karen,
Thanks for the long update. It sounds like you are experiencing very common emotions (high and low) of first-time expectant mothers.
In answer to your question about breastfeeding in 5mins - that’s pretty common. In the first few weeks as both you and baby are learning how to feed (it takes a while to get the hang of it)feeding takes a little while (about an hour for me and Alex). This was actually a blessing for me as it meant I could sit and rest for that period of time, 5 or 6 times a day! Lovely, especially as it was such a tiring time of my life, with all the adjusting that comes with the birth of a child.
The milk flow can be quite fast to begin with(often too fast for baby!) and it means they take in too much and then need to be burped, which all takes time. After awhile though your breasts will adjust and regulate themselves as they work out how much milk is needed. THey are amazing the way they work. They actually feel quite soft and empty after a few weeks and lots of new mums worry that they don’t hvae enough milk, but it is very normal, and just means your body has regulated the amount of milk it makes.
Check out the Australian Breastfeeding Association webpage - it is full of excellent information. I would recommend joining the association - you receive a magazine every 2 months, which is filled with wonderful articles. I found it very helpful (and still do after 3 years of feeding). A great bit of reading to have in your hands while sitting down to feed. You also receive an excellent book “Breastfeeding....naturally” which answers just about any question you may have about breastfeeding. I read it many many times!
Mim
Congratulations again - and it is very interesting to hear what happens!
@Sarah: Thanks for the tip RE Australian Breastfeeding Association! I never would have thought to look there. Ditto KMart: I was wondering if they did since Target don’t.
@Rae: Thanks for the tip! I’ll check it out.
@Little Rachel: Oh, I’ll definitely be up for visitors! I may not be very good company (brain-dead, etc.) but I’ll certainly appreciate visits!
@Rachel C: CONGRATS!!! So excited for you
Yours sounds like a good philosophy. One day I shall have to blog about Outliers!
@CafeDave: Thanks for the tip!
@Elissa: Thanks for your kind words! It makes me happy that you and Dave were excited we were getting married! Thanks also for the prayers!
@Elsie: There are lots of other lovely things I could have said about you, but let’s not overload my readers, shall we? ;P
Aww...thanks for the lovely things you said about me! I enjoyed reading this post (as I do with all yours). xo
Congratulations to you both. I know you will be such wonderful parents. You sound WAY too sensible!
(Sorry to read that there were some unusual comments made about your marriage! We thought it was exciting. We still have a lovely photo of you & Ben in our lovely box of special memories. (I was only 22 when married & I was 30 when we had Bonnie...)
Everyone is different! I nodded through your post. SO many people feel the curious need to share their “horror stories” which is just dreadful. I remember complaining to David who said - go find people who are positive & listen to them. Great advice, which I did. Those people still have a big place in my heart because their advice was honest & gentle.
Bless you & Ben & the little Peanut. We pray all goes smoothly over the coming weeks/months ahead. We sometimes forget what a precious little miracle life really is…
Another book from the dad’s perspective I found helpful was From here to paternity - it’s an Australian book, and was followed up with a blog.
Hi!
I’m so excited for you reading your blog about being pregnant
I am 13 weeks pregnant with #2.
You’re so right about all the pessimism “advice” that you get. I got so mad about it but never found a good response. I’ve had such joy right from day one with E that I just don’t want to buy into the negativity (I’m sure kids pick up on it too!).
My philosophy was/is to be a relaxed mum and from that figure out what was best for my baby/child. Get advice when you’re not sure on things or want to know how other people approached things, read books (loved Outliers!) that aren’t all about parenting… but just enjoy.
In a sample size of one to date, I’ve had such a happy, chilled out son right from day one. People say all the craziest advice… glad you don’t do guilt
With love,
R
Thanks so much for writing more! I love hearing how you’re going and all your thoughts.
After watching my sister I agree with you that it seems the first six months are perhaps the hardest. She got quite lonely at home all day; weekends were all right because then her husband was around but it’s just as you say… one feed ends then the next begins! If you are accepting visitors during this period then I hope to use some RDOs to come have grown-up conversations!
The book review of The Second Nine Months makes me want to read it now!
Names: We have one girl name that we both like and no boy names that we agree on. But they are also top-secret… so if anyone else uses them we can’t accuse them of theft!
Yay Peanut, keep on growing, can’t wait to meet you!
Hello! Thanks for sharing
I loved reading your pregnancy update! I am glad to hear that things are all going pretty well, and I hope the rest of your 2nd trimester is as good.
I just wanted to add, that some other blokes decided that there was not much for the fathers-t0-be, and made a couple of DVD’s just for expectant dads. They are called ‘Being Dad’and i think they are available at big W. I have both though, if you would like me to send them!
Just wanted to wish you all the best!
Love
Rae
re: gluten: no idea!! I didn’t have to go on that diet - it was probably related to the test I didn’t do.
At the risk of adding to your list of advice:
Re: maternity bras - because I’m big I had to look hard for something nice in my size and discovered the Australian Breastfeeding Association. They have a massive range online and most are (dare I say it) sexy.
Re: maternity clothes - Kmart have a nice range of basic stuff.. I only found out towards the end of pregnancy and I would have liked to know earlier!
Re: Parenting classes - if you’re at RPA you can just ring the midwives section (they’ll put you through) and ask directly.
Congratulations again
Don’t laminate your ultrasound picture
That is my advice.
Congratulations! This is so fantastic!
Thanks so much for sharing all of this… people swap engagement stories but rarely pregnancy stories! And it’s kind of similar don’t you think, all this excitement leading up to a big day!
So happy for you guys! Actually never been more excited for anyone except my sister! I think it’s because I think that you will both be amazing parents and love the idea that someone could grow up in your family.
Looking forward to many more posts on the topic.
Lovely news, Karen.
Thanks everyone! I will be sure to ask for help when I need it!
Great pic!! Peanut is cute! :D
Praying for you all!
xx
:D
I had a similar sort of morning sickness.. except I threw up! I’m suitably impressed that you coped OS.. that must have been tough.
It sounds like you’re doing marvelously otherwise!
Book recommendation on something a bit less technical and a bit more human: ‘Birth’ http://www.birthnet.com.au/
Praise be to God indeed! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
Congratulations, Beilharzen! Welcome to the slightly-bewildering world of pregnancy (and birth...and children...). God has blessed you greatly with this new life. We’ll be praying for Peanut’s growth and development, and for you guys as you prepare.
I’m sure you’re surrounded by baby veterans, but always happy to help with books/advice/recommendations/listening.
B&L;
Excellent job Karen! You SHOULD be pleased with yourself!
Have you discovered http://www.ravelry.com ? It is an excellent site with thousands of free patterns in its database, lots of support, tips, forums etc and of course - friends like me? Look me up when you get there - fionag77
PS Are you just wearing a bulky dress or are you sporting a bump under that dress?
oooh.... It’s done and it looks great on you! xxx
Well done on all that hard work! It looks great and will be very snuggly come winter!
Thanks for letting me know, Timo!
Hi there,
Thanks for pointing out the shortcoming on our website. I’ll pass it on to my colleagues and hopefully it will be rectified soon.
The documentary at Fashioning Now was by Holly Kaye-Smith; I’d be more than happy to put you in touch with her if you’d like.
Again, thanks for the comment, much appreciate it!
Kind regards,
Timo Rissanen
Thanks Mark! Much appreciated!
Via WhipUp. Easy: takes 5 min.
Jamie S Rich's advice on how to break into comics.
Via Mike Hyam. Parenting advice: how to raise your children in the Lord as a father.
Cheaper than a nursing home and they allow the elderly to stay in their own homes. Plus their children have peace of mind, knowing whether or not their parent has gotten out of bed, eaten, etc. But there are privacy concerns with such surveillance, and resistance from some of the elderly. Some love it though.
Via Luke Stevens. Father put photos of his baby son online 10 years ago and now finds out that the photo has spawned a Japanese meme.
Andy Schmidt's advice to artists and writers on how to break into comics.
Changing nightmares into dreams through therapy--particularly for PTSD patients.
Students sharing dorm rooms are increasingly bad at communicating with one another face-to-face and dealing with conflict. University administrators have spent more time trying to get them to negotiate and work things out. The parents are now more involved as well. Administrators changing procedures to get the students to own the process.
Via George. On empathy, men and women, the importance of empathy, empathy vs sympathy, and the effect the internet has on our relationships.
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