How to serve your husband who has depression
Sunday, 30 May, 2004
- Tell him you love him frequently.
- Show him unconditional acceptance all the time. Even when he's so down that you end up having to cook AND do the washing up AND take out the garbage AND empty the dish rack, etc.
- Get him to do things that he ordinarily likes doing but takes no pleasure in because he's currently got depression. Even if they're ordinary simple things like sitting in the sun or going for a walk to see a view. It's probably a good idea to make a list of these things and keep them in an accessible place.
- Give him gentle little pushes to help him to get started. For example, if he has to preach on Sunday and hasn't written anything by Friday and is totally stressed out about the whole thing, say, “How about you just talk about the passage and I'll type out whatever you say. We'll do this for about an hour and then we'll reward ourselves with ice cream.”
- Look after yourself. Look after yourself. Look after yourself. Eat healthy, sleep lots, don't get sick or let yourself catch the virus that he's got. Don't obsess over your house being so messy because you don't have time to vacuum because you're so busy doing everything else. It doesn't matter if your house is a mess! Who is going to care? If your friends care, they're probably not worth having as your friends. Make sure you have time to yourself and to do the things that you enjoy. If you are unhappy, he will feel guilty for making you unhappy and it will just be worse for him.
- Be honest with other people about how things are going and whether or not you are coping.
- Get his friends to come take him out (they might need a little prodding). Thank them when they do.
- Keep reminding him about the goodness of God and how much God does love him, even though he doesn't feel like God does.
- Keep praying for him.
- Keep putting your trust in the fact that one day Jesus will return and all this sadness will fade away.
Posted in: Depression
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That’s lovely, Karen.
You are a true blessing to me Karen. As is Ben.
Hanging for the fading away, hey?
Hugs,
George
You bet! And I’m sure you are too!
This is the most important one - “Be honest with other people about how things are going and whether or not you are coping.” Make sure you do that.
Also, is Ben on anti-depressants? I’m on 50mg/day of Zoloft and it has made a huge difference.
I used to take Aropax, but really I wasn’t depressed I was sleepy due to a medical thing not related to depression. It made the black of my eye-balls really huge, so I looked crazy - so they stopped it on me.