/karen/

In the meanwhile

Tuesday, 04 February, 2003

Sorry I haven't been around much and thanks heaps to everyone who's been stopping by and saying hi! Life has been very busy and I've had no time to blog. Here's what I've been up to:

Commencing student enrolments

This has been taking place all around campus over the past week or so. We've all been very nervous about it because UNSW has changed the procedure this year and everything's different. Originally they wanted to have the faculties holding enrolment advisory lectures (which should have been made compulsory but weren't) and then the students would go off to enrol themselves online. The online interface they were developing didn't work so they decided instead to have the lectures and then get the students to enrol on paper with an advisor signing off on their proposed courses.

We were very nervous about the whole thing. We didn't know what to expect and whether the students would even come to a lecture that wasn't compulsory for them to be at. But in the end it went quite well; the students were able to make more informed choices about what to enrol in (after we told them that wrong choices would result them in not graduating) and they were quite happy to sit and timetable in their subjects to make sure there were no clashes before getting signed off and heading over to the main enrolment centre. There were hardly any queues and it was all over by lunchtime so we all breathed a sigh of relief.

Don't take it personally

The down point came in the afternoon when some angry mother rang me up and yelled at me for five minutes because her poor daughter found the enrolment information confusing, she had to stay back until 7 o'clock at night because she wanted to do Psychology and all the advice she had been given conflicted. At first I decided to defend the University but then I realised she just wanted to rant so I just shut up and listened. She eventually hung up on me after declaring, “You people have got to get your act together!” and it made me quite upset—not at the time but afterwards.

Ben says I tend to take things at work too personally; I have trouble separating my emotions from my job. “She was angry at the University, not at you,” he said. So I'm having chats with God that he might help me improve that sort of thing ... maybe then I'd be less depressed at work.

First parking ticket

After doing my bit to defend the University, I felt horribly betrayed to find a parking ticket on my windscreen. I felt like such an idiot then because I had forgotten to put the day parking scratchie on my dashboard to show I had a right to park there. I cried all the way home (one and a half hour drive).

The following day I calmed down and talked to my manager about it. She said I should appeal and she was willing to write me a supporting letter. So I've sent all that off (including the scratchie I should have put on my dashboard) and we'll see what happens.

Anniversary

Needless to say, I was extremely “over” work and was glad to get home on Wednesday night to celebrate our anniversary with Ben. We had gone to Berry on the Monday public holiday and also to Gerringong but there is something about celebrating things on the actual day that is special. We went out for dinner to this Indian restaurant and ate lots of yummy food and talked for a long time. I gave him By the Way (Red Hot Chilli Peppers) and August and Everything After (Counting Crows). He gave me Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on DVD. We ended up watching it on Thursday night (mental note: never ever watch it with the English audio track turned ON).

I'm very thankful to God for the three years we've been married. It keeps getting better and better but also more challenging. I'm looking forward to what's ahead.

Waterfall train crash

I am also very thankful that I was nowhere near the Waterfall train crash which happened last Friday. Although I travel in the opposite direction, that's normally about the time I'm on the train and I heard it took hours for people to get to work. No one I know was killed though Ben told me that one of the girls who was coming down to help Evangelical Christian Union with enrolments was on that train and got concussion. Ben kept getting SMS messages all day asking if I was all right and at first he had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't know either until he came home in the afternoon.

Leader's weekend in Kangaroo Valley

We've been going to St. Michael's Anglican church now for three weeks and we've been asked to lead a night church Bible Study group. So we went on the leader's weekend in Kangaroo Valley. It's the first time I've been there. We stayed in a place called The Rectory and there weren't enough rooms for couples so all the married people had to split up. It was a really good weekend, doing studies on Revelation, walking around the village (I bought lots of lollies, Turkish delight and a vanilla lip balm!) and meeting new people. After that weekend, I felt much more settled at the church because I didn't feel like I was among strangers anymore. They're all mad about Risk and now they've got Ben addicted. He got absolutely slaughtered by Pak-man on Saturday night. I went to bed before the game was over.

High 5's

The other thing we're doing at church (apart from being put on every single conceivable roster there is), is helping lead High 5's (Kindergarten to Year 5)which is the Sunday School for the 5 pm service. We had our first session with the kids last Sunday and it went well though I was quite nervous and wasn't really sure what I was doing. It helps watching the other leaders and how they treat the kids. Deb said to me that it's good to be firm with them and that they really like individual attention. Must work on remembering names ...

In the Gallery

Took me two and a half hours to get to work and two and a half hours to get home yesterday but it was time well spent. I took my laptop on the train and now I've finally finished In the Gallery. I wrote this in my second year of Uni and it seems a little juvenile now but I still like the ideas behind it.

Timetable clashes

Frustration at work continues and is making me act in a terribly ungodly fashion at times. German are still giving me timetable changes and it's February! I had to finally say a flat-out no today; Petri from Web Support had already printed me a hard copy timetable and there was no way I was going to ask him to do it again. They weren't very happy but I'm past caring. I've got to get another 250 copies printed of our Level 1 and Languages timetable to give to new enrolling students. I've also got to somehow get the amendments done to the other 200 existing printed timetables. Yuck! Fortunately, Helen (my manager) has been very gracious and is letting me work from home on Thursday and Friday. I'm taking my summer potential graduands with me and I am aiming to get them done by the end of the week. Sometimes I think I'll go mad in this place but then I think I fear unemployment more.

The cessation of Ben's blog

If you've read this then you'll know that Ben's stopped blogging. I always feel like I'm two steps behind him; it's funny that he's stopped blogging when I'm just getting into it. And I really used to enjoy reading his blog too. But spending more time with him is definitely better—especially as MTS becomes more and more stressful.

Grace and peace to all of you.

/Karen/ had a thought at 1:03 PM | Comments (3)
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Comments

You talk about “The Rectory” as though that is an unusual name - I trust you know the origins of the name, or else I fear I must denounce you as an Anglican!!

Let me say also that I am glad you weren’t on the train on Friday. I too got calls from relatives and others who know that Katrie normally drives but were concerned anyway. I guess it doesn’t hurt to check these things just to make sure…

I know what a Rectory is. That’s actually the real name of the place: The Rectory.

It’s nice to know people are concerned about you!

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Current:

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seen: 500 Days of Summer 25/09/2009

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read: Flight (Volume 1) (edited by Kazu Kibuishi) 16/09/2009

seen: Ponyo 11/09/2009

read: Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) 05/09/2009

heard: Aimee Mann (Enmore Theatre) 04/09/2009

heard: Ben Folds Solo (Opera House) 31/08/2009

read: Phonogram: Rue Britannia (Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie) 26/08/2009

seen: Northanger Abbey 20/08/2009

read: The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) 18/08/2009

seen: The Phantom of the Opera 17/08/2009

seen: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 10/08/2009

seen: District 9 10/08/2009

read: Shortcomings (Adrian Tomine) 02/08/2009

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Comment:

RodeoClown said in Astrid (initial weeks):

Hi Karen,
Congratulations on Astrid’s birth.
A quick tip that we learned when we became parents and my wife was breastfeeding (don’t you love tips from strangers wink):

Instead of writing down which side to feed on next, stick a hairclip, or peg on your bra strap on the side they will next feed from. Then swap it over when you feed.

Then you never have to remember, and you don’t need to worry about writing it down.

Cafedave said in Astrid (initial weeks):

That is indeed an epic post! Brings back a lot of memories of Puff’s first weeks.

As far as how long until Astrid hits 16kgs, you can read it off the graphs in her blue book. I would guess somewhere between 2 and 3 years old.

bronwyn said in Peanut (at birth):

Hi Karen - yes! But we’re finished at Moore now and living back in Tassie so it’s unlikely. I enjoy still enjoy reading though, hope you don’t mind!

@Miriam - I had a very fast labour too (lets just say it was quite a bit quicker than 4 hours) and I almost felt embarrassed telling people! I’d never imagined I’d be one of ‘those’ women. Still, friends who’ve had longer labours followed by shorter labours assured me it’s the same amount of pain, just squeezed into a shorter time span so I try not to feel too bad smile

Miriam said in Peanut (at birth):

Congratulations Karen & Ben. What a beautiful daughter. Thanks for sharing your birth story - sounds almost identical to mine, except my labour was only 4 hours! My midwife also told me not to share it at mothers group as people would be jealous hehe smile

Enjoy this wonderful time getting to know Astrid.

Miriam

/Karen/ said in Peanut (at birth):

Thanks everyone!

Wow, Bron, I still can’t believe I haven’t met you yet! Thanks for continuing to read this blog!

Little Rachel, now I’m intrigued!!!

Sarah said in Peanut (at birth):

It’s so funny reading your labour experience. It’s so funny she came out when you were standing up and the midwife had to catch her. Wow! I will remember to go through your blog more carefully when my time comes around. It’s very informative.

Jan said in Peanut (at birth):

Congratulations to you all and many blessings.  Astrid is a little sweetie.

sarah said in Peanut (at birth):

Congratulations Karen and Ben.  A gorgeous girl with a gorgeous name.  Praise God!

Thanks for sharing your story.

ireneQ said in Peanut (at birth):

Congrats, Karen! She looks wonderful, so alert and adorable! Glad that everything went so smoothly (comparatively).

Little Rach said in Peanut (at birth):

Well, one of your details clears up a conversation Jess and Anna and Liza and I had! I’ll tell you later. smile
I think you and Ben did amazingly well, and that the staff were right: you were pretty tough! I will have to give all those exercises a go when that time comes.
Yay for Astrid! Such a beautiful name for a precious daughter.

Georgina said in Peanut (at birth):

Hello! Thanks for sharing. It sounded tough and bewildering! Can I come and visit sometime? Tonight or tomorrow night? I’m away for the next 4 days after that. Love George

Bronwyn said in Peanut (at birth):

Congratulations! Astrid Winter is a gorgeous name. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s interesting to hear from other women. Now I’m expecting my second I’m starting to think about all that again. Eeeeek!

RPA is very busy, apparently they’re at 3 times capacity for the area. When we were there last year the night my daughter was born there were something like 8 births in 45 minutes. As soon as I’d had a shower we had to be out of there! I remember being rather surprised at having to walk up to the post-natal ward.  “you want me to what?!”

cafedave said in Peanut (at around 38 weeks):

I don’t think it’s exclusively the change of temperature: young babies like to be cuddled up (or wrapped in a blanket or similar) as they adjust to being on the outside after so long being wrapped up on the inside.

Oh yeah, it makes perfect sense that babies would cry if you put them in a cold bed! I totally never thought of that!

I love your posts, they are so fascinating! :D

/Karen/ said in Mini break:

Oh Jess! There are so many good things about Sydney smile

apple said in Mini break:

Looks like really nice adventures! I don’t really think of Sydney as a place to explore.. hmm.. you have opened my mind up to The Staycation.

I get depressed at the adrenaline crash also because then I have time to think about how shitty everything is lol.

Hmm...food for thought indeed. V. interesting, thank you for posting smile

Lizz B. said in Peanut (at around 31 weeks):

lol! Karen, you’re so frank and I love it. “the non-constipating kind” of iron pills. hahaha.

i know how hard it is to not tell people the sex of your baby.  I am tempted to tell strangers or acquaintances what you’re having because, as Ben reasoned with the waiter, I’ll either never see them again or it’s not like their going to tell anyone of consequence.

/Karen/ said in Peanut (at around 31 weeks):

Thanks Kathleen! Glad you’re finding them interesting!

Kathleen said in Peanut (at around 31 weeks):

These posts are fascinating, Karen, and I’m happy/sad for you.

/Karen/ said in Peanut (at around 24 weeks):

Hey Little! One of the things that astounds me is that people all over the world give birth everyday in different circumstances, and they seem to get through it. Maybe all the bells and whistles of the western world are simply that—bells and whistles, and things we do to make ourselves feel better about such a painful and momentous occurrence. I’m sure Mongolia has its own ways of looking after their expectant mums!

Lizz B. said in Peanut (at around 24 weeks):

Great post, Karen.
As I said to you last Friday: the Toturo thing is gorgeous!
Thanks for posting about the changing relationships between friends.  I’ve been struggling to come to terms with my best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend and the loss I feel. It’s been 18mths now, but I guess it’s taking longer for me to deal with because he’s not something we talk about and I don’t often see them together.  However, it’s still known.  It’s good to know I’m not alone or going crazy or whatever.
Also, thanks for the updates on Peanut.  Can’t wait to meet him/her!

I think that your child will one day be thankful that they can read about what their mother was thinking. They won’t have to wonder if you’ve forgotten anything or just telling the good things! I think the positives are more believable when accompanied by the negatives, that’s just more realistic.

The PGP sounds really hard! Also not something that people talk about, so is it hard to get understanding from people when you need to go a little slower? Though perhaps they just expect that of pregnant women… gah, there are so many steps at MM! :(

I worry about the money stuff too… though I guess in Mongolia maybe they won’t do all those medical things so I won’t have to pay for them! raspberry

Keep blogging! You know I’m fascinated. ;p

/Karen/ said in Peanut (at around 24 weeks):

Thanks Miriam! That’s good to know!

Hi Karen,
Thanks for the long update. It sounds like you are experiencing very common emotions (high and low) of first-time expectant mothers.

In answer to your question about breastfeeding in 5mins - that’s pretty common. In the first few weeks as both you and baby are learning how to feed (it takes a while to get the hang of it)feeding takes a little while (about an hour for me and Alex). This was actually a blessing for me as it meant I could sit and rest for that period of time, 5 or 6 times a day! Lovely, especially as it was such a tiring time of my life, with all the adjusting that comes with the birth of a child.

The milk flow can be quite fast to begin with(often too fast for baby!) and it means they take in too much and then need to be burped, which all takes time. After awhile though your breasts will adjust and regulate themselves as they work out how much milk is needed. THey are amazing the way they work. They actually feel quite soft and empty after a few weeks and lots of new mums worry that they don’t hvae enough milk, but it is very normal, and just means your body has regulated the amount of milk it makes.

Check out the Australian Breastfeeding Association webpage - it is full of excellent information. I would recommend joining the association - you receive a magazine every 2 months, which is filled with wonderful articles. I found it very helpful (and still do after 3 years of feeding). A great bit of reading to have in your hands while sitting down to feed. You also receive an excellent book “Breastfeeding....naturally” which answers just about any question you may have about breastfeeding. I read it many many times!

Mim

Kathleen said in Peanut (at around 18 weeks):

Congratulations again - and it is very interesting to hear what happens!

/Karen/ said in Peanut (at around 18 weeks):

@Sarah: Thanks for the tip RE Australian Breastfeeding Association! I never would have thought to look there. Ditto KMart: I was wondering if they did since Target don’t.

@Rae: Thanks for the tip! I’ll check it out.

@Little Rachel: Oh, I’ll definitely be up for visitors! I may not be very good company (brain-dead, etc.) but I’ll certainly appreciate visits!

@Rachel C: CONGRATS!!! So excited for you smile Yours sounds like a good philosophy. One day I shall have to blog about Outliers!

@CafeDave: Thanks for the tip!

@Elissa: Thanks for your kind words! It makes me happy that you and Dave were excited we were getting married! Thanks also for the prayers!

@Elsie: There are lots of other lovely things I could have said about you, but let’s not overload my readers, shall we? ;P

Aww...thanks for the lovely things you said about me! I enjoyed reading this post (as I do with all yours). xo

Congratulations to you both. I know you will be such wonderful parents. You sound WAY too sensible! grin
(Sorry to read that there were some unusual comments made about your marriage! We thought it was exciting. We still have a lovely photo of you & Ben in our lovely box of special memories. (I was only 22 when married & I was 30 when we had Bonnie...)
Everyone is different! I nodded through your post. SO many people feel the curious need to share their “horror stories” which is just dreadful. I remember complaining to David who said - go find people who are positive & listen to them. Great advice, which I did. Those people still have a big place in my heart because their advice was honest & gentle.
Bless you & Ben & the little Peanut. We pray all goes smoothly over the coming weeks/months ahead. We sometimes forget what a precious little miracle life really is…

cafedave said in Peanut (at around 18 weeks):

Another book from the dad’s perspective I found helpful was From here to paternity - it’s an Australian book, and was followed up with a blog.

Rachel C said in Peanut (at around 18 weeks):

Hi!

I’m so excited for you reading your blog about being pregnant smile I am 13 weeks pregnant with #2. 

You’re so right about all the pessimism “advice” that you get.  I got so mad about it but never found a good response.  I’ve had such joy right from day one with E that I just don’t want to buy into the negativity (I’m sure kids pick up on it too!).

My philosophy was/is to be a relaxed mum and from that figure out what was best for my baby/child.  Get advice when you’re not sure on things or want to know how other people approached things, read books (loved Outliers!) that aren’t all about parenting… but just enjoy. 

In a sample size of one to date, I’ve had such a happy, chilled out son right from day one.  People say all the craziest advice… glad you don’t do guilt smile

With love,
R

Little Rach said in Peanut (at around 18 weeks):

Thanks so much for writing more! I love hearing how you’re going and all your thoughts.

After watching my sister I agree with you that it seems the first six months are perhaps the hardest. She got quite lonely at home all day; weekends were all right because then her husband was around but it’s just as you say… one feed ends then the next begins! If you are accepting visitors during this period then I hope to use some RDOs to come have grown-up conversations! smile

The book review of The Second Nine Months makes me want to read it now!

Names: We have one girl name that we both like and no boy names that we agree on. But they are also top-secret… so if anyone else uses them we can’t accuse them of theft! wink

Yay Peanut, keep on growing, can’t wait to meet you!

Hello! Thanks for sharing smile

Rae Green said in Peanut (at around 18 weeks):

I loved reading your pregnancy update! I am glad to hear that things are all going pretty well, and I hope the rest of your 2nd trimester is as good.

I just wanted to add, that some other blokes decided that there was not much for the fathers-t0-be, and made a couple of DVD’s just for expectant dads. They are called ‘Being Dad’and i think they are available at big W. I have both though, if you would like me to send them!

Just wanted to wish you all the best!
Love
Rae

re: gluten: no idea!! I didn’t have to go on that diet - it was probably related to the test I didn’t do.

At the risk of adding to your list of advice:

Re: maternity bras - because I’m big I had to look hard for something nice in my size and discovered the Australian Breastfeeding Association. They have a massive range online and most are (dare I say it) sexy. smile

Re: maternity clothes - Kmart have a nice range of basic stuff.. I only found out towards the end of pregnancy and I would have liked to know earlier!

Re: Parenting classes - if you’re at RPA you can just ring the midwives section (they’ll put you through) and ask directly.

Kathleen said in Beilharzen:

Congratulations again smile

Elsie said in Beilharzen:

Don’t laminate your ultrasound picture smile That is my advice.

Diane Lovell said in Beilharzen:

Congratulations! This is so fantastic! smile

Little said in Beilharzen:

Thanks so much for sharing all of this… people swap engagement stories but rarely pregnancy stories! And it’s kind of similar don’t you think, all this excitement leading up to a big day!

So happy for you guys! Actually never been more excited for anyone except my sister! I think it’s because I think that you will both be amazing parents and love the idea that someone could grow up in your family.

Looking forward to many more posts on the topic. smile

Blinks:

"For a long time, I was waiting for my life to go back to normal," he said. "And then I realized, this is my life. So this is my normal."

How to make wontons.

Short-sleeved cardigan with lace edging.

Interesting answer.



"We pick out people who have the same kind of unhappiness we do. And we gravitate toward them and try to help them.



"Many of us are like this. Every time we try to help someone else and fail, it feels weird. It feels bad. We do not know exactly what is going on but it is upsetting.



"Until one day we realize that what we are doing is avoiding our own pain. We have learned to act as though it is not our pain that is at issue, but other people's."

Cleaning tips for all sorts of things. White vinegar is apparently wonderful!

The case for print.



"Laura Miller has argued eloquently in Salon about reading on the iPad as a serene experience, a sanctuary from the link-surfing that dominates so much of what we read online. And yet, I know what having an iPod has done to my attention span and ability to sit through an entire album, in order, by one artist ... and I'll be damned if I let the same thing happen to the way I read. Out of every argument I've heard in favor of e-readers ... my least favorite might be the central point of the thing: the fact that it allows you to choose from thousands of books at any given time. I simply don't want that kind of potential for distraction ...



"For me, to deny books their physical structure simply ignores far too much of what makes them enjoyable. The commitment they require, the way they force you into a state of simultaneous calm and focus—these are things I have yet to duplicate by any other means."

Something to do with leftover wool. Makes good toys!

The reasons behind the creation of the 4 am news slot. Interesting how lifestyle fuels these sorts of cultural changes.

Via Elsie. Consumer addiction used to distract or cover for emotional emptiness/loss/grief, etc.

A parenting philosophy to introduce media to children late and slowly.

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