Tonight I tried to make Pad Thai. Perhaps this post should have been entitled “Moronic chef” because it was a disaster—I had no bean sprouts, no green onions and way too many noodles. The noodle packaging bore some fine “Directions for preparation” that went something like this:
- Boiled in chaffy dish: Put the rice vermicelli into hot water for about 2-3 minutes, and put it into the chaffy dish.
- Roasted: Soak thoroughly the rice Vermicelli in hot water for about 3-5 minutes and then take it up, fried meat in slices or cubes or together with shelled shrimps, mushroomsorvegetale,etc, if avallable, then put in wetted rice vermi-celli ashrasthem for another 1-2 minutes. It mag also be seasoned with oasc, clli sue or mustard, etc
- Fried: Fry the rice Vermicelli in boilin oil (No need to soak). Such preparation is good to be tk wt ogei is sa sa belicious dish fe ihsrde eat, mushrooms etc.
- Cooked in Soup: Boil the Rice Vermicelli in flavoured soup for a few minutes and add condiments befoer being served.
(What's a chaffy dish???)
The front of the bag boasted these “Four great speciality”:
- It's not easy break or bunt.
- It won't wound stomach or get angry.
- It's rice scant, sweet and toochsome.
- It's good mouch feel and smooth.
Just as well. I'd hate to think what angry rice noodles would be like—even if they are sweet and toochsome with a good mouch feel.
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