I am having trouble sleeping. My brain is usually sluggish all afternoon and for most of the evening and then kicks into high gear around midnight. This means I cannot fall asleep until 2. This is not good when one is intending to get up at 8 and go to work—it makes driving quite hazardous. I switched off the alarm and tried to squeeze in another hour's shut-eye but was disturbed by the little boys yelling in the playground at Newington Prep, their incredibly annoying school bell and Ben's regular morning sneezing fit.
On my way in to MM I had to stop by Mary Andrew's College to pick up the form they had signed for me for Centrelink to apply for Newstart (yes, I decided to apply ... Ben thought I should). I spent a little under two hours at MM and cried in front of my boss (he said to me, “You're looking rather sad today” which of course is the very thing to set one off). It's a good thing he didn't mind and he said he'd pray for me.
I had to leave at 12 and I drove to Hurstville because that's where my face-to-face interview was. I already had the phone interview last Friday before the HCM exam and they asked me to fill in all these forms and bring in a whole bunch of paperwork. I don't know why I was having my interview in Hurstville—the closest Centrelink office to us is in Leichhardt and surely that would have done just as well—but they said Hurstville so to Hurstville I went. The Centrelink office has just moved and I was fortunate to find a parking lot just across the street that had free 3 hour parking.
The interview started right on time. It was with a rather nice man named Andrew. He also thought it odd that I was having my interview at Hurstville. Unfortunately he discovered a problem with my application—which was that I had no application on the system. For some reason, and despite the phone interview and everything else, nothing had been done to my record. He tried to get it done but the computer system kept giving him errors. He called some sort of internal Helpdesk and even changed computers. No luck. Meanwhile I sat there and twiddled my thumbs and listened to the rest of his co-workers around him who were doing typical office-y type stuff, like giggling over some guy's funny name and trying to work out what Andrew's phone extension was.
After much computer fiddling and talking to the woman at the Helpdesk, he said to me, “Do you want the bad news or the badder news?”
“Bad,” I said.
“Okay. Unfortunately I can't do anything about your application today. You're on our records as being a student and you'll receive your last Austudy payment on Friday. That's why it won't let me put this stuff through and that's what those intelligent operatives at the call centre should have told you when they spoke to you last week. Unfortunately they didn't which makes us look bad and I'm very sorry that you've had to come all the way out here for this.
“The badder news is that this means that we will have to start the whole process over again. You will have to do another phone interview and you will have to come in again for another face-to-face interview. Save all that paperwork for then.”
So I'm having another phone interview on Friday. And then I will have to come in and bring everything with me ... again.
“Support the system that supports you” ... who are they trying to kid?
seen: Moon 15/10/2009
read: The Incredibles 11/10/2009
seen: She's the Man 05/10/2009
read: I Kill Giants (Joe Kelly and J. M. Ken Niimura) 04/10/2009
read: Astro City The Dark Ages Book 1: Brothers and Other Strangers (Kurt Busiek, Brent Anderson and Alex Ross) 04/10/2009
seen: Children of Men 02/10/2009
seen: Metric (The Metro) 30/09/2009
seen: 500 Days of Summer 25/09/2009
seen: The September Issue 18/09/2009
seen: Gilmore Girls: Season 1 17/09/2009
read: Flight (Volume 1) (edited by Kazu Kibuishi) 16/09/2009
seen: Ponyo 11/09/2009
read: Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) 05/09/2009
heard: Aimee Mann (Enmore Theatre) 04/09/2009
heard: Ben Folds Solo (Opera House) 31/08/2009
read: Phonogram: Rue Britannia (Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie) 26/08/2009
seen: Northanger Abbey 20/08/2009
read: The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) 18/08/2009
seen: The Phantom of the Opera 17/08/2009
seen: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 10/08/2009
seen: District 9 10/08/2009
read: Shortcomings (Adrian Tomine) 02/08/2009
read: AIR Volume 1: Letters from Lost Countries (Willow Wilson and M.K. Perker) 28/07/2009
seen: Persepolis 25/07/2009
seen: Ghost Town 25/07/2009
heard: Gutter Twins (Seymour Centre) 23/07/2009
seen: Coco Avant Chanel 20/07/2009
seen: Gutenberg! The Musical (Seymour Centre) 16/07/2009
seen: So You Think You Can Dance? Australia Live Tour (Sydney Entertainment Centre) 11/07/2009
seen: Every Little Step 07/07/2009
seen: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen 03/07/2009
seen: Synecdoche, New York 30/06/2009
seen: Charlie's Angels 27/06/2009
seen: Penelope 26/06/2009
seen: Coraline 10/06/2009
seen: The Sky Crawlers 08/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Ultimatum 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Supremacy 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Identity 06/06/2009
seen: Stick it 05/06/2009
Hi Karen - yes! But we’re finished at Moore now and living back in Tassie so it’s unlikely. I enjoy still enjoy reading though, hope you don’t mind!
@Miriam - I had a very fast labour too (lets just say it was quite a bit quicker than 4 hours) and I almost felt embarrassed telling people! I’d never imagined I’d be one of ‘those’ women. Still, friends who’ve had longer labours followed by shorter labours assured me it’s the same amount of pain, just squeezed into a shorter time span so I try not to feel too bad
Congratulations Karen & Ben. What a beautiful daughter. Thanks for sharing your birth story - sounds almost identical to mine, except my labour was only 4 hours! My midwife also told me not to share it at mothers group as people would be jealous hehe
Enjoy this wonderful time getting to know Astrid.
Miriam
Thanks everyone!
Wow, Bron, I still can’t believe I haven’t met you yet! Thanks for continuing to read this blog!
Little Rachel, now I’m intrigued!!!
It’s so funny reading your labour experience. It’s so funny she came out when you were standing up and the midwife had to catch her. Wow! I will remember to go through your blog more carefully when my time comes around. It’s very informative.
Congratulations to you all and many blessings. Astrid is a little sweetie.
Congratulations Karen and Ben. A gorgeous girl with a gorgeous name. Praise God!
Thanks for sharing your story.
Congrats, Karen! She looks wonderful, so alert and adorable! Glad that everything went so smoothly (comparatively).
Well, one of your details clears up a conversation Jess and Anna and Liza and I had! I’ll tell you later.
I think you and Ben did amazingly well, and that the staff were right: you were pretty tough! I will have to give all those exercises a go when that time comes.
Yay for Astrid! Such a beautiful name for a precious daughter.
Hello! Thanks for sharing. It sounded tough and bewildering! Can I come and visit sometime? Tonight or tomorrow night? I’m away for the next 4 days after that. Love George
Congratulations! Astrid Winter is a gorgeous name. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s interesting to hear from other women. Now I’m expecting my second I’m starting to think about all that again. Eeeeek!
RPA is very busy, apparently they’re at 3 times capacity for the area. When we were there last year the night my daughter was born there were something like 8 births in 45 minutes. As soon as I’d had a shower we had to be out of there! I remember being rather surprised at having to walk up to the post-natal ward. “you want me to what?!”
I don’t think it’s exclusively the change of temperature: young babies like to be cuddled up (or wrapped in a blanket or similar) as they adjust to being on the outside after so long being wrapped up on the inside.
Oh yeah, it makes perfect sense that babies would cry if you put them in a cold bed! I totally never thought of that!
I love your posts, they are so fascinating! :D
Oh Jess! There are so many good things about Sydney
Looks like really nice adventures! I don’t really think of Sydney as a place to explore.. hmm.. you have opened my mind up to The Staycation.
I get depressed at the adrenaline crash also because then I have time to think about how shitty everything is lol.
Hmm...food for thought indeed. V. interesting, thank you for posting
lol! Karen, you’re so frank and I love it. “the non-constipating kind” of iron pills. hahaha.
i know how hard it is to not tell people the sex of your baby. I am tempted to tell strangers or acquaintances what you’re having because, as Ben reasoned with the waiter, I’ll either never see them again or it’s not like their going to tell anyone of consequence.
Thanks Kathleen! Glad you’re finding them interesting!
These posts are fascinating, Karen, and I’m happy/sad for you.
Hey Little! One of the things that astounds me is that people all over the world give birth everyday in different circumstances, and they seem to get through it. Maybe all the bells and whistles of the western world are simply that—bells and whistles, and things we do to make ourselves feel better about such a painful and momentous occurrence. I’m sure Mongolia has its own ways of looking after their expectant mums!
Great post, Karen.
As I said to you last Friday: the Toturo thing is gorgeous!
Thanks for posting about the changing relationships between friends. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with my best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend and the loss I feel. It’s been 18mths now, but I guess it’s taking longer for me to deal with because he’s not something we talk about and I don’t often see them together. However, it’s still known. It’s good to know I’m not alone or going crazy or whatever.
Also, thanks for the updates on Peanut. Can’t wait to meet him/her!
I think that your child will one day be thankful that they can read about what their mother was thinking. They won’t have to wonder if you’ve forgotten anything or just telling the good things! I think the positives are more believable when accompanied by the negatives, that’s just more realistic.
The PGP sounds really hard! Also not something that people talk about, so is it hard to get understanding from people when you need to go a little slower? Though perhaps they just expect that of pregnant women… gah, there are so many steps at MM! :(
I worry about the money stuff too… though I guess in Mongolia maybe they won’t do all those medical things so I won’t have to pay for them!
Keep blogging! You know I’m fascinated. ;p
Thanks Miriam! That’s good to know!
Hi Karen,
Thanks for the long update. It sounds like you are experiencing very common emotions (high and low) of first-time expectant mothers.
In answer to your question about breastfeeding in 5mins - that’s pretty common. In the first few weeks as both you and baby are learning how to feed (it takes a while to get the hang of it)feeding takes a little while (about an hour for me and Alex). This was actually a blessing for me as it meant I could sit and rest for that period of time, 5 or 6 times a day! Lovely, especially as it was such a tiring time of my life, with all the adjusting that comes with the birth of a child.
The milk flow can be quite fast to begin with(often too fast for baby!) and it means they take in too much and then need to be burped, which all takes time. After awhile though your breasts will adjust and regulate themselves as they work out how much milk is needed. THey are amazing the way they work. They actually feel quite soft and empty after a few weeks and lots of new mums worry that they don’t hvae enough milk, but it is very normal, and just means your body has regulated the amount of milk it makes.
Check out the Australian Breastfeeding Association webpage - it is full of excellent information. I would recommend joining the association - you receive a magazine every 2 months, which is filled with wonderful articles. I found it very helpful (and still do after 3 years of feeding). A great bit of reading to have in your hands while sitting down to feed. You also receive an excellent book “Breastfeeding....naturally” which answers just about any question you may have about breastfeeding. I read it many many times!
Mim
Congratulations again - and it is very interesting to hear what happens!
@Sarah: Thanks for the tip RE Australian Breastfeeding Association! I never would have thought to look there. Ditto KMart: I was wondering if they did since Target don’t.
@Rae: Thanks for the tip! I’ll check it out.
@Little Rachel: Oh, I’ll definitely be up for visitors! I may not be very good company (brain-dead, etc.) but I’ll certainly appreciate visits!
@Rachel C: CONGRATS!!! So excited for you
Yours sounds like a good philosophy. One day I shall have to blog about Outliers!
@CafeDave: Thanks for the tip!
@Elissa: Thanks for your kind words! It makes me happy that you and Dave were excited we were getting married! Thanks also for the prayers!
@Elsie: There are lots of other lovely things I could have said about you, but let’s not overload my readers, shall we? ;P
Aww...thanks for the lovely things you said about me! I enjoyed reading this post (as I do with all yours). xo
Congratulations to you both. I know you will be such wonderful parents. You sound WAY too sensible!
(Sorry to read that there were some unusual comments made about your marriage! We thought it was exciting. We still have a lovely photo of you & Ben in our lovely box of special memories. (I was only 22 when married & I was 30 when we had Bonnie...)
Everyone is different! I nodded through your post. SO many people feel the curious need to share their “horror stories” which is just dreadful. I remember complaining to David who said - go find people who are positive & listen to them. Great advice, which I did. Those people still have a big place in my heart because their advice was honest & gentle.
Bless you & Ben & the little Peanut. We pray all goes smoothly over the coming weeks/months ahead. We sometimes forget what a precious little miracle life really is…
Another book from the dad’s perspective I found helpful was From here to paternity - it’s an Australian book, and was followed up with a blog.
Hi!
I’m so excited for you reading your blog about being pregnant
I am 13 weeks pregnant with #2.
You’re so right about all the pessimism “advice” that you get. I got so mad about it but never found a good response. I’ve had such joy right from day one with E that I just don’t want to buy into the negativity (I’m sure kids pick up on it too!).
My philosophy was/is to be a relaxed mum and from that figure out what was best for my baby/child. Get advice when you’re not sure on things or want to know how other people approached things, read books (loved Outliers!) that aren’t all about parenting… but just enjoy.
In a sample size of one to date, I’ve had such a happy, chilled out son right from day one. People say all the craziest advice… glad you don’t do guilt
With love,
R
Thanks so much for writing more! I love hearing how you’re going and all your thoughts.
After watching my sister I agree with you that it seems the first six months are perhaps the hardest. She got quite lonely at home all day; weekends were all right because then her husband was around but it’s just as you say… one feed ends then the next begins! If you are accepting visitors during this period then I hope to use some RDOs to come have grown-up conversations!
The book review of The Second Nine Months makes me want to read it now!
Names: We have one girl name that we both like and no boy names that we agree on. But they are also top-secret… so if anyone else uses them we can’t accuse them of theft!
Yay Peanut, keep on growing, can’t wait to meet you!
Hello! Thanks for sharing
I loved reading your pregnancy update! I am glad to hear that things are all going pretty well, and I hope the rest of your 2nd trimester is as good.
I just wanted to add, that some other blokes decided that there was not much for the fathers-t0-be, and made a couple of DVD’s just for expectant dads. They are called ‘Being Dad’and i think they are available at big W. I have both though, if you would like me to send them!
Just wanted to wish you all the best!
Love
Rae
re: gluten: no idea!! I didn’t have to go on that diet - it was probably related to the test I didn’t do.
At the risk of adding to your list of advice:
Re: maternity bras - because I’m big I had to look hard for something nice in my size and discovered the Australian Breastfeeding Association. They have a massive range online and most are (dare I say it) sexy.
Re: maternity clothes - Kmart have a nice range of basic stuff.. I only found out towards the end of pregnancy and I would have liked to know earlier!
Re: Parenting classes - if you’re at RPA you can just ring the midwives section (they’ll put you through) and ask directly.
Congratulations again
Don’t laminate your ultrasound picture
That is my advice.
Congratulations! This is so fantastic!
Thanks so much for sharing all of this… people swap engagement stories but rarely pregnancy stories! And it’s kind of similar don’t you think, all this excitement leading up to a big day!
So happy for you guys! Actually never been more excited for anyone except my sister! I think it’s because I think that you will both be amazing parents and love the idea that someone could grow up in your family.
Looking forward to many more posts on the topic.
Lovely news, Karen.
Thanks everyone! I will be sure to ask for help when I need it!
Interesting answer.
"We pick out people who have the same kind of unhappiness we do. And we gravitate toward them and try to help them.
"Many of us are like this. Every time we try to help someone else and fail, it feels weird. It feels bad. We do not know exactly what is going on but it is upsetting.
"Until one day we realize that what we are doing is avoiding our own pain. We have learned to act as though it is not our pain that is at issue, but other people's."
Cleaning tips for all sorts of things. White vinegar is apparently wonderful!
The case for print.
"Laura Miller has argued eloquently in Salon about reading on the iPad as a serene experience, a sanctuary from the link-surfing that dominates so much of what we read online. And yet, I know what having an iPod has done to my attention span and ability to sit through an entire album, in order, by one artist ... and I'll be damned if I let the same thing happen to the way I read. Out of every argument I've heard in favor of e-readers ... my least favorite might be the central point of the thing: the fact that it allows you to choose from thousands of books at any given time. I simply don't want that kind of potential for distraction ...
"For me, to deny books their physical structure simply ignores far too much of what makes them enjoyable. The commitment they require, the way they force you into a state of simultaneous calm and focus—these are things I have yet to duplicate by any other means."
Something to do with leftover wool. Makes good toys!
The reasons behind the creation of the 4 am news slot. Interesting how lifestyle fuels these sorts of cultural changes.
Via Elsie. Consumer addiction used to distract or cover for emotional emptiness/loss/grief, etc.
A parenting philosophy to introduce media to children late and slowly.
Family-friendly movies. Includes Miyazaki, some Pixar and some surprises.
Via Neil Gaiman. Good advice for writing professionals on working to deadlines and why they matter.
Symptoms indicate preschoolers can be depressed but many resist the diagnosis. However, diagnosing it may help as it will pave the way for treatment. Change of attitude: we don't think young children can get depression. Ways of treating it given that talking therapy is out of the question and medications are not a good idea for humans that young.
Interesting that they say we start kids learning things like ballet and music at the age of 4.
"Most parents want to distract their kids from negative emotions rather than let them process the feelings."
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Comments
:(
Very frustrating
you have my sympathy
From friends’ comments, I don’t think your epsiode is unnusual in the Centrelink experience.
They remind me of the vogons.
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