Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?
Monday, 08 November, 2004
My Bible reading has been picking up again (don't hold your breath!) I managed to do it at least four times last week. I'm in the middle of Acts which is such an exciting book. I don't think I ever realised how exciting it was until I heard Phillip preach through it at Campus Bible Study a couple of years ago. It's just amazing how the gospel spreads—first to the Jews (and Phillip pointed out how logical it was back then for Jews to become Christians), then the Samaritans (who were part-Jews so even though the Christian Jews didn't expect that would happen, they weren't too surprised), then Jewish converts (like the Ethiopian eunuch) and finally ... *drumroll* ... the GENTILES!!! (yay!!) Which, if you think about it, was pretty unexpected from a Jewish standpoint but, given the promises made to Abraham in Genesis 12 about all nations being blessed through him, it's not that surprising.
Where am I going with this? Well, I've been thinking about evangelism and conversion lately (perhaps due to Ben's influence; I am wondering if he does have a point about our evangelical community's over-emphasis on evangelism). In particular, I've been thinking about the outsiders I pray for and whether they will ever turn to Christ. You see, a couple of years ago I was talking about this to a lady I met at a REAP day (REAP stands for Resourcing and Evangelising Academics and Postgraduates and it was something run by Lewis who is currently going through Moore College but is eventually going to graduate and work for AFES, focusing specifically on academics and postgraduates. The thing is, we general staff at UNSW used to come too because the people at REAP were closer to our age so George used to complain bitterly to Lewis about the fact that general staff weren't part of the acronym).
Gah! Where was I again? Oh yes, I was talking to a lady at REAP. She became a Christian simply through reading the Bible. Her family are all Buddhists (I think). Anyways, when she reached “marriageable” age, she realised that she definitely did not want to marry a Buddhist; she wanted to marry a Christian. And in the course of time, she did meet such a man and she did marry him and they had a Christian ceremony which completely shocked and scandalised her entire family. But now, nine years on, one of her brothers and her father are starting to investigate Christianity. She encouraged me by telling me that God can change anyone's heart; just look at Saul. Since then, I've heard other people use Saul as an example of how God can totally transform a person into one of his children.
But I was thinking about it the other day while I was reading Acts and I realised that Saul wasn't a God-hater. Saul wasn't like the people in our world today who totally despise or ignore God—who say that God is irrelevant, who make fun of Christians in the media (meaning all Christians generally, not just the group)—who advocate abortion while slamming pro-lifers, who completely misrepresent what leading figures in the Sydney Anglican church say, and who call all Christians bigoted racist sexist right-wing conservative fundamentalist extremists.
Saul wasn't a God-hater. In fact, he was the complete opposite. Saul was a God-fearing zealous Jew, a circumcised Benjaminite, a Hebrew of Hebrews, a Pharisee. He persecuted the early church because he thought they were wrong, blasphemous, heretical and deserving of death under the code of the Torah. Remember, this is the guy who claimed that he was blameless under the law. Saul loved God so much that it consumed his whole life. And so, when he meets Jesus on the Damascus road and recognises that Jesus is, in fact, the one who Peter and the other disciples claimed to be (namely, the risen Christ = Messiah = Anointed One = King), it's no wonder that he changes so quickly.
This makes Saul quite an unhelpful example to use when it comes to talking about the conversion of the lost.
But it's not that I don't think God has the power to change even the hardest of hearts—I do know that's true and he has done it with various people in the world. But I also know that God is God—he is completely in control of everything and he does what he will. He will have mercy on whom he has mercy; he will have compassion on whom he has compassion; he has a right to consign to the fire those “vessels of wrath prepared for destruction”.
And I know I cannot know who are the elect (not that I am advocating limited atonement)—that I cannot divine the plans of God—that I cannot alter the course of an individual's destiny apart from the will of my heavenly Father (even though he chooses to use my participation in his Grand Design [compatibilism]).
But I sometimes wonder whether God has deliberately hardened the hearts of people, especially people whom I love and whom I don't want to see consigned to the fire. In my very limited experience, I have come across so many people who have rejected God and don't display any sort of curiosity about him, whereas, the few people I have met who do happen to be interested in God and who do display some sort of curiosity about God (even if it is expressed with animosity [I am thinking of Pakman's conversion here]) are more likely to repent and declare obedience to Jesus the King.
If that is indeed the case (that God will condemn those whom he condemns), I have to accept his judgement on that matter.
And that is a very hard thing to do sometimes.
Blinks:
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