Last night I ended going to bed at around 2 am (Rosey came over after we went to the Finders Keepers markets at the CarriageWorks with Bec, and it turned out that Marinka and Fiona came over too, and while they and Ben watched Best in Show, Rosey and I made A6 journals with coptic bookbinding, and then I dropped her home). This morning, I woke at around 10, having slept through my alarm, and felt like hell.
I remembered someone telling me that an hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after midnight, but I don't think they told me why. A bit of Googling revealed this paragraph at the Centre for Integrated Healing:
From a complementary medicine perspective, an hour of sleep before midnight is worth 2 hours of sleep afer midnight, because sleep before midnight optimizes melatonin production. Remember the old saying, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
I wonder how true that is, and whether that really is the reason. If so, from a time management point of view, then it makes sense to go to bed before midnight so that you will spend less time sleeping (but you'll get better quality sleep) and more time doing other things you want to do. Certainly HowToWakeUpEarly.com takes that view.
(Incidentally, it both amuses and fascinates me that the internet has given rise to a plethora of self-help-style sites like LifeHacker and 43 Folders to aid us in the battle to cope with modern life. How did people do it before? Has the human race always had this anxiety about the practicalities of our day-to-day existence? [I.e. have we always struggled with coping? I read something Paul wrote recently which said that young people these days must make the kinds of decisions of what to do with their time that previously only belonged to CEOs.] Or has it just been given expression now that technology allows us unprecedented communication?)
I recall a link I was pointed to by Greg several years ago—an article in Christianity Today that argued that priotizing getting enough sleep was an important expression of “love thy neighbour”. But according to the sleep literature I skimmed through today, quantity is not enough; quality is also just as important (hence going to bed before midnight).
Is it true, though, that the body doesn't exist the same way in time—that it just “naturally” does things at different times, thereby nudging you towards a specific timetable? I look at Y Graft's (a.k.a. Sleeping Dude's) nine reasons to get up early and note that the only reason that actually motivates me is number 8: “Beat the traffic” (if I leave the house at 7, it takes less time for me to get to work and I get better parking. And I get to gohome early). But if I didn't work in an office half an hour away and I was just at home, I know I wouldn't do that. I'd probably revert to what Ben currently does—going to bed at around 1 or 2 and getting up at 10 or 11. Like many people, my brain seems to kick into gear around the midnight hours—the time of day when the world seems full of possibilities and you just feel like creating something. Is there an explanation for that?
And after all this musing and meandering around the topic, what conclusion do I end up with?
(Incidentally, further to my last post on time, I read this in a Briefing article I put online on Friday:
Most of us have little discretionary time where we are free to choose how we use it. We have fixed priorities that absorb most of the 168 hours in the week. Sleeping, eating, travelling, working, family responsibilities, chores and ‘personal things’ take around 140 hours, if you have anything like a ‘normal’ life. The 28 hours remaining is your discretionary time—time that you can divide between leisure, study, socializing, hobbies, and so on. Christians will devote some of these 28 hours to specifically Christian activity. This will include private Bible reading, prayer and study of Christian literature, as well as service to others. When we look at it realistically, there are only around 5-10 hours per week available for Christian activity with others, and most of this time is taken up with church meetings, a Bible study group or committees. And, as the years roll on, there is even less time at our discretion, with increased family and work responsibilities.
Maybe we need to rethink our ministry responsibilities and withdraw from some tasks in church life in order to read and pray with others.
I am all for Bible reading, prayer, church, evangelism and building relationships with people. But I want to know where creativity fits in all of this ...)
seen: Moon 15/10/2009
read: The Incredibles 11/10/2009
seen: She's the Man 05/10/2009
read: I Kill Giants (Joe Kelly and J. M. Ken Niimura) 04/10/2009
read: Astro City The Dark Ages Book 1: Brothers and Other Strangers (Kurt Busiek, Brent Anderson and Alex Ross) 04/10/2009
seen: Children of Men 02/10/2009
seen: Metric (The Metro) 30/09/2009
seen: 500 Days of Summer 25/09/2009
seen: The September Issue 18/09/2009
seen: Gilmore Girls: Season 1 17/09/2009
read: Flight (Volume 1) (edited by Kazu Kibuishi) 16/09/2009
seen: Ponyo 11/09/2009
read: Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) 05/09/2009
heard: Aimee Mann (Enmore Theatre) 04/09/2009
heard: Ben Folds Solo (Opera House) 31/08/2009
read: Phonogram: Rue Britannia (Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie) 26/08/2009
seen: Northanger Abbey 20/08/2009
read: The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) 18/08/2009
seen: The Phantom of the Opera 17/08/2009
seen: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 10/08/2009
seen: District 9 10/08/2009
read: Shortcomings (Adrian Tomine) 02/08/2009
read: AIR Volume 1: Letters from Lost Countries (Willow Wilson and M.K. Perker) 28/07/2009
seen: Persepolis 25/07/2009
seen: Ghost Town 25/07/2009
heard: Gutter Twins (Seymour Centre) 23/07/2009
seen: Coco Avant Chanel 20/07/2009
seen: Gutenberg! The Musical (Seymour Centre) 16/07/2009
seen: So You Think You Can Dance? Australia Live Tour (Sydney Entertainment Centre) 11/07/2009
seen: Every Little Step 07/07/2009
seen: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen 03/07/2009
seen: Synecdoche, New York 30/06/2009
seen: Charlie's Angels 27/06/2009
seen: Penelope 26/06/2009
seen: Coraline 10/06/2009
seen: The Sky Crawlers 08/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Ultimatum 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Supremacy 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Identity 06/06/2009
seen: Stick it 05/06/2009
I don’t think it’s exclusively the change of temperature: young babies like to be cuddled up (or wrapped in a blanket or similar) as they adjust to being on the outside after so long being wrapped up on the inside.
Oh yeah, it makes perfect sense that babies would cry if you put them in a cold bed! I totally never thought of that!
I love your posts, they are so fascinating! :D
Oh Jess! There are so many good things about Sydney
Looks like really nice adventures! I don’t really think of Sydney as a place to explore.. hmm.. you have opened my mind up to The Staycation.
I get depressed at the adrenaline crash also because then I have time to think about how shitty everything is lol.
Hmm...food for thought indeed. V. interesting, thank you for posting
lol! Karen, you’re so frank and I love it. “the non-constipating kind” of iron pills. hahaha.
i know how hard it is to not tell people the sex of your baby. I am tempted to tell strangers or acquaintances what you’re having because, as Ben reasoned with the waiter, I’ll either never see them again or it’s not like their going to tell anyone of consequence.
Thanks Kathleen! Glad you’re finding them interesting!
These posts are fascinating, Karen, and I’m happy/sad for you.
Hey Little! One of the things that astounds me is that people all over the world give birth everyday in different circumstances, and they seem to get through it. Maybe all the bells and whistles of the western world are simply that—bells and whistles, and things we do to make ourselves feel better about such a painful and momentous occurrence. I’m sure Mongolia has its own ways of looking after their expectant mums!
Great post, Karen.
As I said to you last Friday: the Toturo thing is gorgeous!
Thanks for posting about the changing relationships between friends. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with my best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend and the loss I feel. It’s been 18mths now, but I guess it’s taking longer for me to deal with because he’s not something we talk about and I don’t often see them together. However, it’s still known. It’s good to know I’m not alone or going crazy or whatever.
Also, thanks for the updates on Peanut. Can’t wait to meet him/her!
I think that your child will one day be thankful that they can read about what their mother was thinking. They won’t have to wonder if you’ve forgotten anything or just telling the good things! I think the positives are more believable when accompanied by the negatives, that’s just more realistic.
The PGP sounds really hard! Also not something that people talk about, so is it hard to get understanding from people when you need to go a little slower? Though perhaps they just expect that of pregnant women… gah, there are so many steps at MM! :(
I worry about the money stuff too… though I guess in Mongolia maybe they won’t do all those medical things so I won’t have to pay for them!
Keep blogging! You know I’m fascinated. ;p
Thanks Miriam! That’s good to know!
Hi Karen,
Thanks for the long update. It sounds like you are experiencing very common emotions (high and low) of first-time expectant mothers.
In answer to your question about breastfeeding in 5mins - that’s pretty common. In the first few weeks as both you and baby are learning how to feed (it takes a while to get the hang of it)feeding takes a little while (about an hour for me and Alex). This was actually a blessing for me as it meant I could sit and rest for that period of time, 5 or 6 times a day! Lovely, especially as it was such a tiring time of my life, with all the adjusting that comes with the birth of a child.
The milk flow can be quite fast to begin with(often too fast for baby!) and it means they take in too much and then need to be burped, which all takes time. After awhile though your breasts will adjust and regulate themselves as they work out how much milk is needed. THey are amazing the way they work. They actually feel quite soft and empty after a few weeks and lots of new mums worry that they don’t hvae enough milk, but it is very normal, and just means your body has regulated the amount of milk it makes.
Check out the Australian Breastfeeding Association webpage - it is full of excellent information. I would recommend joining the association - you receive a magazine every 2 months, which is filled with wonderful articles. I found it very helpful (and still do after 3 years of feeding). A great bit of reading to have in your hands while sitting down to feed. You also receive an excellent book “Breastfeeding....naturally” which answers just about any question you may have about breastfeeding. I read it many many times!
Mim
Congratulations again - and it is very interesting to hear what happens!
@Sarah: Thanks for the tip RE Australian Breastfeeding Association! I never would have thought to look there. Ditto KMart: I was wondering if they did since Target don’t.
@Rae: Thanks for the tip! I’ll check it out.
@Little Rachel: Oh, I’ll definitely be up for visitors! I may not be very good company (brain-dead, etc.) but I’ll certainly appreciate visits!
@Rachel C: CONGRATS!!! So excited for you
Yours sounds like a good philosophy. One day I shall have to blog about Outliers!
@CafeDave: Thanks for the tip!
@Elissa: Thanks for your kind words! It makes me happy that you and Dave were excited we were getting married! Thanks also for the prayers!
@Elsie: There are lots of other lovely things I could have said about you, but let’s not overload my readers, shall we? ;P
Aww...thanks for the lovely things you said about me! I enjoyed reading this post (as I do with all yours). xo
Congratulations to you both. I know you will be such wonderful parents. You sound WAY too sensible!
(Sorry to read that there were some unusual comments made about your marriage! We thought it was exciting. We still have a lovely photo of you & Ben in our lovely box of special memories. (I was only 22 when married & I was 30 when we had Bonnie...)
Everyone is different! I nodded through your post. SO many people feel the curious need to share their “horror stories” which is just dreadful. I remember complaining to David who said - go find people who are positive & listen to them. Great advice, which I did. Those people still have a big place in my heart because their advice was honest & gentle.
Bless you & Ben & the little Peanut. We pray all goes smoothly over the coming weeks/months ahead. We sometimes forget what a precious little miracle life really is…
Another book from the dad’s perspective I found helpful was From here to paternity - it’s an Australian book, and was followed up with a blog.
Hi!
I’m so excited for you reading your blog about being pregnant
I am 13 weeks pregnant with #2.
You’re so right about all the pessimism “advice” that you get. I got so mad about it but never found a good response. I’ve had such joy right from day one with E that I just don’t want to buy into the negativity (I’m sure kids pick up on it too!).
My philosophy was/is to be a relaxed mum and from that figure out what was best for my baby/child. Get advice when you’re not sure on things or want to know how other people approached things, read books (loved Outliers!) that aren’t all about parenting… but just enjoy.
In a sample size of one to date, I’ve had such a happy, chilled out son right from day one. People say all the craziest advice… glad you don’t do guilt
With love,
R
Thanks so much for writing more! I love hearing how you’re going and all your thoughts.
After watching my sister I agree with you that it seems the first six months are perhaps the hardest. She got quite lonely at home all day; weekends were all right because then her husband was around but it’s just as you say… one feed ends then the next begins! If you are accepting visitors during this period then I hope to use some RDOs to come have grown-up conversations!
The book review of The Second Nine Months makes me want to read it now!
Names: We have one girl name that we both like and no boy names that we agree on. But they are also top-secret… so if anyone else uses them we can’t accuse them of theft!
Yay Peanut, keep on growing, can’t wait to meet you!
Hello! Thanks for sharing
I loved reading your pregnancy update! I am glad to hear that things are all going pretty well, and I hope the rest of your 2nd trimester is as good.
I just wanted to add, that some other blokes decided that there was not much for the fathers-t0-be, and made a couple of DVD’s just for expectant dads. They are called ‘Being Dad’and i think they are available at big W. I have both though, if you would like me to send them!
Just wanted to wish you all the best!
Love
Rae
re: gluten: no idea!! I didn’t have to go on that diet - it was probably related to the test I didn’t do.
At the risk of adding to your list of advice:
Re: maternity bras - because I’m big I had to look hard for something nice in my size and discovered the Australian Breastfeeding Association. They have a massive range online and most are (dare I say it) sexy.
Re: maternity clothes - Kmart have a nice range of basic stuff.. I only found out towards the end of pregnancy and I would have liked to know earlier!
Re: Parenting classes - if you’re at RPA you can just ring the midwives section (they’ll put you through) and ask directly.
Congratulations again
Don’t laminate your ultrasound picture
That is my advice.
Congratulations! This is so fantastic!
Thanks so much for sharing all of this… people swap engagement stories but rarely pregnancy stories! And it’s kind of similar don’t you think, all this excitement leading up to a big day!
So happy for you guys! Actually never been more excited for anyone except my sister! I think it’s because I think that you will both be amazing parents and love the idea that someone could grow up in your family.
Looking forward to many more posts on the topic.
Lovely news, Karen.
Thanks everyone! I will be sure to ask for help when I need it!
Great pic!! Peanut is cute! :D
Praying for you all!
xx
:D
I had a similar sort of morning sickness.. except I threw up! I’m suitably impressed that you coped OS.. that must have been tough.
It sounds like you’re doing marvelously otherwise!
Book recommendation on something a bit less technical and a bit more human: ‘Birth’ http://www.birthnet.com.au/
Praise be to God indeed! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
Congratulations, Beilharzen! Welcome to the slightly-bewildering world of pregnancy (and birth...and children...). God has blessed you greatly with this new life. We’ll be praying for Peanut’s growth and development, and for you guys as you prepare.
I’m sure you’re surrounded by baby veterans, but always happy to help with books/advice/recommendations/listening.
B&L;
Excellent job Karen! You SHOULD be pleased with yourself!
Have you discovered http://www.ravelry.com ? It is an excellent site with thousands of free patterns in its database, lots of support, tips, forums etc and of course - friends like me? Look me up when you get there - fionag77
PS Are you just wearing a bulky dress or are you sporting a bump under that dress?
oooh.... It’s done and it looks great on you! xxx
Well done on all that hard work! It looks great and will be very snuggly come winter!
Thanks for letting me know, Timo!
Hi there,
Thanks for pointing out the shortcoming on our website. I’ll pass it on to my colleagues and hopefully it will be rectified soon.
The documentary at Fashioning Now was by Holly Kaye-Smith; I’d be more than happy to put you in touch with her if you’d like.
Again, thanks for the comment, much appreciate it!
Kind regards,
Timo Rissanen
Thanks Mark! Much appreciated!
Via WhipUp. Easy: takes 5 min.
Jamie S Rich's advice on how to break into comics.
Via Mike Hyam. Parenting advice: how to raise your children in the Lord as a father.
Cheaper than a nursing home and they allow the elderly to stay in their own homes. Plus their children have peace of mind, knowing whether or not their parent has gotten out of bed, eaten, etc. But there are privacy concerns with such surveillance, and resistance from some of the elderly. Some love it though.
Via Luke Stevens. Father put photos of his baby son online 10 years ago and now finds out that the photo has spawned a Japanese meme.
Andy Schmidt's advice to artists and writers on how to break into comics.
Changing nightmares into dreams through therapy--particularly for PTSD patients.
Students sharing dorm rooms are increasingly bad at communicating with one another face-to-face and dealing with conflict. University administrators have spent more time trying to get them to negotiate and work things out. The parents are now more involved as well. Administrators changing procedures to get the students to own the process.
Via George. On empathy, men and women, the importance of empathy, empathy vs sympathy, and the effect the internet has on our relationships.
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Comments
I still think it is possible to over-schedule, over-plan, over-budget. I find I get more done if I don’t try to break it down exactly (but that’s just me, and I have been known to put one shoe on and then start filing things before finding the other shoe)
How did people used to cope? I think a large part of people getting up early was because work was done in the cool of the morning and you went to bed early because it was dark. Now we can stay up comfortably because we have light and warmth and I never do any manual labour so the term “the heat of the day” is largely lost on me.
I guess I am a computer geek. My brain also comes alive at midnight, I stay awake and then feel lousy in the morning so repeat the pattern. But when I can be bothered to get out of bed early, go for a walk around Centennial, I have a productive day and feel wonderful (and then crash early that night). Now just to motivate myself to put down the laptop before bed and get out of bed the next morning before 10am!
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