Sometimes I think I've failed as a girl. I'm not really into clothes shopping. I enjoy shopping generally, in moderation and only on the rare occasion when I have money to spend, but I loathe shopping for clothes. Shopping for books, CD's, DVD's, decorative objects is fine; clothes are a trial. I think it's because usually when you buy clothes you have to try things on and I hate undressing in strange places. I'm never sure if what I see in the changeroom mirror is the same as what I'll see in real life. I cringe from shop assistants and their inane false comments (“That looks really good on you.”) I loathe facing indecision—to buy or not to buy. I've never had the problem that other girls have of things not fitting me properly but I've always had the problem of never being able to find what I want because all the stores stock what's fashionable and fashionable and me just don't mix very well.
So imagine my horror when I discover that a pair of my favourite Giordano jeans which I've had for eight years suddenly develops a hole in a very embarrassing place—a hole that's impossible to fix. Aargh! I said an eulogy for them as I chucked them in the bin and struggled to face the inevitable fact: I was going to have to go clothes shopping and I was going to have to go soon.
I had quite a few errands to run yesterday morning so I decided to take a look around Wollongong mall. At Jay Jays, the sales girls have to unlock the changerooms for you and they ask you to leave your bag visible on the floor at all times. At Jeanswest, I was ignored. At Just Jeans the shop assistant looked at what I was wearing as if to say, “What on earth are you doing in my store?” I couldn't find anything but hipsters and bootcuts which I dislike because they show off too much skin and make me feel like I'm standing in the bowl of a bathroom sink. Why is it necessary to show off your navel? What is so attractive about wearing pants so low they look like they could just slide off you in just one tug? Why don't other girls feel cold like me when their tops and bottoms don't meet and their midriffs are exposed to the air? Why does everyone around me look like they're just bursting out of their clothes and can't wait to get naked? Cade has mentioned before that this kind of scanty immodest style isn't very helpful for guys. A friend of mine gets quite upset at the way women dress because she thinks it encourages lust and adultery and I tend to agree.
But knowing all this didn't really help my quest for a suitable pair of pants. I wanted ones that were comfortable, durable, smart enough to wear to work, not so tight that they'd cut off my circulation and not so loose that they'd look like they were falling off. They also had to pass the ultimate test: expose no skin when I bend over. I was beginning to give up hope and put off searching for another day when I wandered past Colorado who were having a 30% off the second item sale. I found exactly what I wanted (Stratton Colorado women's jeans) and the shop assistants were very helpful too. I bought two pairs - one in black and one in tan. Hurray! Hopefully they'll last me another 8 years and I won't have to go pant shopping again!
seen: Moon 15/10/2009
read: The Incredibles 11/10/2009
seen: She's the Man 05/10/2009
read: I Kill Giants (Joe Kelly and J. M. Ken Niimura) 04/10/2009
read: Astro City The Dark Ages Book 1: Brothers and Other Strangers (Kurt Busiek, Brent Anderson and Alex Ross) 04/10/2009
seen: Children of Men 02/10/2009
seen: Metric (The Metro) 30/09/2009
seen: 500 Days of Summer 25/09/2009
seen: The September Issue 18/09/2009
seen: Gilmore Girls: Season 1 17/09/2009
read: Flight (Volume 1) (edited by Kazu Kibuishi) 16/09/2009
seen: Ponyo 11/09/2009
read: Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) 05/09/2009
heard: Aimee Mann (Enmore Theatre) 04/09/2009
heard: Ben Folds Solo (Opera House) 31/08/2009
read: Phonogram: Rue Britannia (Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie) 26/08/2009
seen: Northanger Abbey 20/08/2009
read: The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) 18/08/2009
seen: The Phantom of the Opera 17/08/2009
seen: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 10/08/2009
seen: District 9 10/08/2009
read: Shortcomings (Adrian Tomine) 02/08/2009
read: AIR Volume 1: Letters from Lost Countries (Willow Wilson and M.K. Perker) 28/07/2009
seen: Persepolis 25/07/2009
seen: Ghost Town 25/07/2009
heard: Gutter Twins (Seymour Centre) 23/07/2009
seen: Coco Avant Chanel 20/07/2009
seen: Gutenberg! The Musical (Seymour Centre) 16/07/2009
seen: So You Think You Can Dance? Australia Live Tour (Sydney Entertainment Centre) 11/07/2009
seen: Every Little Step 07/07/2009
seen: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen 03/07/2009
seen: Synecdoche, New York 30/06/2009
seen: Charlie's Angels 27/06/2009
seen: Penelope 26/06/2009
seen: Coraline 10/06/2009
seen: The Sky Crawlers 08/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Ultimatum 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Supremacy 07/06/2009
seen: The Bourne Identity 06/06/2009
seen: Stick it 05/06/2009
@Sarah: Thanks for the tip RE Australian Breastfeeding Association! I never would have thought to look there. Ditto KMart: I was wondering if they did since Target don’t.
@Rae: Thanks for the tip! I’ll check it out.
@Little Rachel: Oh, I’ll definitely be up for visitors! I may not be very good company (brain-dead, etc.) but I’ll certainly appreciate visits!
@Rachel C: CONGRATS!!! So excited for you
Yours sounds like a good philosophy. One day I shall have to blog about Outliers!
@CafeDave: Thanks for the tip!
@Elissa: Thanks for your kind words! It makes me happy that you and Dave were excited we were getting married! Thanks also for the prayers!
@Elsie: There are lots of other lovely things I could have said about you, but let’s not overload my readers, shall we? ;P
Aww...thanks for the lovely things you said about me! I enjoyed reading this post (as I do with all yours). xo
Congratulations to you both. I know you will be such wonderful parents. You sound WAY too sensible!
(Sorry to read that there were some unusual comments made about your marriage! We thought it was exciting. We still have a lovely photo of you & Ben in our lovely box of special memories. (I was only 22 when married & I was 30 when we had Bonnie...)
Everyone is different! I nodded through your post. SO many people feel the curious need to share their “horror stories” which is just dreadful. I remember complaining to David who said - go find people who are positive & listen to them. Great advice, which I did. Those people still have a big place in my heart because their advice was honest & gentle.
Bless you & Ben & the little Peanut. We pray all goes smoothly over the coming weeks/months ahead. We sometimes forget what a precious little miracle life really is…
Another book from the dad’s perspective I found helpful was From here to paternity - it’s an Australian book, and was followed up with a blog.
Hi!
I’m so excited for you reading your blog about being pregnant
I am 13 weeks pregnant with #2.
You’re so right about all the pessimism “advice” that you get. I got so mad about it but never found a good response. I’ve had such joy right from day one with E that I just don’t want to buy into the negativity (I’m sure kids pick up on it too!).
My philosophy was/is to be a relaxed mum and from that figure out what was best for my baby/child. Get advice when you’re not sure on things or want to know how other people approached things, read books (loved Outliers!) that aren’t all about parenting… but just enjoy.
In a sample size of one to date, I’ve had such a happy, chilled out son right from day one. People say all the craziest advice… glad you don’t do guilt
With love,
R
Thanks so much for writing more! I love hearing how you’re going and all your thoughts.
After watching my sister I agree with you that it seems the first six months are perhaps the hardest. She got quite lonely at home all day; weekends were all right because then her husband was around but it’s just as you say… one feed ends then the next begins! If you are accepting visitors during this period then I hope to use some RDOs to come have grown-up conversations!
The book review of The Second Nine Months makes me want to read it now!
Names: We have one girl name that we both like and no boy names that we agree on. But they are also top-secret… so if anyone else uses them we can’t accuse them of theft!
Yay Peanut, keep on growing, can’t wait to meet you!
Hello! Thanks for sharing
I loved reading your pregnancy update! I am glad to hear that things are all going pretty well, and I hope the rest of your 2nd trimester is as good.
I just wanted to add, that some other blokes decided that there was not much for the fathers-t0-be, and made a couple of DVD’s just for expectant dads. They are called ‘Being Dad’and i think they are available at big W. I have both though, if you would like me to send them!
Just wanted to wish you all the best!
Love
Rae
re: gluten: no idea!! I didn’t have to go on that diet - it was probably related to the test I didn’t do.
At the risk of adding to your list of advice:
Re: maternity bras - because I’m big I had to look hard for something nice in my size and discovered the Australian Breastfeeding Association. They have a massive range online and most are (dare I say it) sexy.
Re: maternity clothes - Kmart have a nice range of basic stuff.. I only found out towards the end of pregnancy and I would have liked to know earlier!
Re: Parenting classes - if you’re at RPA you can just ring the midwives section (they’ll put you through) and ask directly.
Congratulations again
Don’t laminate your ultrasound picture
That is my advice.
Congratulations! This is so fantastic!
Thanks so much for sharing all of this… people swap engagement stories but rarely pregnancy stories! And it’s kind of similar don’t you think, all this excitement leading up to a big day!
So happy for you guys! Actually never been more excited for anyone except my sister! I think it’s because I think that you will both be amazing parents and love the idea that someone could grow up in your family.
Looking forward to many more posts on the topic.
Lovely news, Karen.
Thanks everyone! I will be sure to ask for help when I need it!
Great pic!! Peanut is cute! :D
Praying for you all!
xx
:D
I had a similar sort of morning sickness.. except I threw up! I’m suitably impressed that you coped OS.. that must have been tough.
It sounds like you’re doing marvelously otherwise!
Book recommendation on something a bit less technical and a bit more human: ‘Birth’ http://www.birthnet.com.au/
Praise be to God indeed! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
Congratulations, Beilharzen! Welcome to the slightly-bewildering world of pregnancy (and birth...and children...). God has blessed you greatly with this new life. We’ll be praying for Peanut’s growth and development, and for you guys as you prepare.
I’m sure you’re surrounded by baby veterans, but always happy to help with books/advice/recommendations/listening.
B&L;
Excellent job Karen! You SHOULD be pleased with yourself!
Have you discovered http://www.ravelry.com ? It is an excellent site with thousands of free patterns in its database, lots of support, tips, forums etc and of course - friends like me? Look me up when you get there - fionag77
PS Are you just wearing a bulky dress or are you sporting a bump under that dress?
oooh.... It’s done and it looks great on you! xxx
Well done on all that hard work! It looks great and will be very snuggly come winter!
Thanks for letting me know, Timo!
Hi there,
Thanks for pointing out the shortcoming on our website. I’ll pass it on to my colleagues and hopefully it will be rectified soon.
The documentary at Fashioning Now was by Holly Kaye-Smith; I’d be more than happy to put you in touch with her if you’d like.
Again, thanks for the comment, much appreciate it!
Kind regards,
Timo Rissanen
Thanks Mark! Much appreciated!
Rich survey, Karen. Particularly I was struck by the notion of Jesus being clothed with our sins. I heard recently somebody suggest the crown of thorns was a kings crown but it was made of the symbol of the curse in the Garden - thorns. I would like to read your thoughts about Joseph’s coat of many colours.
Looking forward to the next installment. Regards,Mark
It is lovely - and looks great on you.
You’ve made me want to read it - though I may need an interpreter at times!
Well done with the sewing!
I think it looks good - very relaxed and spring-y.
Hey Sandra! Thanks for the tip! I read it yesterday, but I struggled a bit because Lewis doesn’t start from the Bible. I wasn’t convinced by his argument. What did you think?
Interesting post Karen - Thanks
I like the ending too! :D
xxx
Fantastic post, Karen. Just great. Thanks!
Thanks Bec! Eternal life just keeps getting better and better ...
I do like the way you ended this post - excellent thought.
Personally I don’t feel that way. Maybe that’s something you should blog about?
Wow. Lots of things to pick up on there. It’s been interesting to see the changes to your blog these last 6-12 months: Twitter is certainly more immediate, but are there (gasp) downsides to having its constant buzz in the ear?
Is our (already fractured) ability to concentrate on a single relationship at a time further jeapordised by the regular buzz of tweetdeck (and worse yet, by the imagined sense of loss that goes with being off the grid)?
Or am I just projecting my own fears?
Hi Karen!
If you’re still thinking about this… I just read CS Lewis’s essay “Learning in War-time” which exactly addresses this issue (ie. how can we justify cultural & aesthetic pursuits when people are going to hell around us?). Have you read it? i’d be interested to hear what you think..
(i have it in his little volume “Transposition and other Addresses”, but it’s easily findable online)
I’m doing my own series on the trials and tribulations of writing on my own blog here http://sedshed.blogspot.com/search/label/From%20Head%20to%20Hand
It’s coming along slowly
Coincidentily, I stumbled upon the above Phonogram vs. the Fans cover when digging around for ID concepts for Salt. A disturbingly brilliant image.
Thanks Karen. At the very least, this post gives some context to your myriad of phonogram tweets. At best, it has reinvigorated my stagnated appreciation of comics.
Seriously, though 4,549 words. Is that the best you can do? I say, longer!
Maybe discomfort is better for writing.
Showing her daughter that women are great by doing tours and walking in the footsteps of famous women. I like that this article is about engagement.
Jordan White, editor for Marvel, answers questions.
Jamie McKelvie answers questions.
Vision therapy as a treatment for ADHD, learning disabilities and even autism. The scientific community's opinion. The results of concentrated therapy.
Kieron Gillen on Phonogram, Siege, Ares, Loki and his collaborative relationship with Jamie McKelvie.
Superheroes and how they have changed the way we see urban landscape. Their attraction to New York.
Kieron Gillen talking about Phonogram's run and the effect it had on its audience.
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Comments
I think that the hipster jeans that are sold to women at the moment are quite revolting. In the effort to expose too much flesh (a problem in itself) they are totally unflattering. Who wants to see a roll of stomach flesh hanging over the belt when one bends over? Yik. Karne, next time a favourite piece of clothing develops a hole or a tear, I recommend my seemstress in Randwick, who can fix anything, and fix it well. I don’t like jeans at all, and the only pair I wear are a pair of black baggy style jeans that I bought 6 years ago. They developed an embarrassing hole, too, but the seemstress cleverly fixed them at a cost much cheaper than a new pair of jeans, which averted the trial of jeans shopping - which would have been a major trial as this style is totally ‘out-of-fashion’. This woman can fix anything - she even fixed my full length leather coat which I managed to tear the first time I wore it. Nevertheless, even though the coat is lovely, I will never spend such a ludicrous amount of money on an item of clothing ever again - now I look for clothes that are cheap and durable.
*sigh* Clothes shopping. Nothing seems to suit, and stuff you do like always ends up being really expensive. Bras are so ridiculously over priced! What is the deal with that? Even at 25% off, I spent about $60 on just two pairs. But sales are so good. Sometimes its just a matter of waiting for the sales…
I don’t normally shop at Colorado so I may check it out. I normally get my jeans for $30 at Grace Bros. At the miss shop section. My mum got me a pair of hipster cords (I too was running out of pants). She doesn’t like hipsters, but I really needed pants. They feel really weird and I always have to make sure my jumper/top is long enough. After all who wants to see that unsightly roll of stomach flesh (as Drew mentioned) or a bum crack?? Feral!!
And just the other day, I tried on a pair of pants I bought in year nine and the top of the pants went right above my belly botton - that’s so unusual these days for pants to be that “tall”!
I used to clothes-shop a lot but these days it’s like, “Seen that already, ho-hum!” I’m also finding it too much bother to take off what I have on just to try on something I’m not sure I’ll really like - ugh.
The current trend in Malaysia is very Japanese with equal amount of Hong Kong influence (read: flourescent, clashing colours and extremely ugly clothes). I stay away from clothes these days and look at shoes instead…
By the way, as far as shop assistants are concerned… I’d rather have them ignore me than hang over my shoulder. I know how to ask for help if I want it, thank you very much. I don’t know how it is in Australia, but over here too many shop assistants have this totally irritating habit of tailing you once you step into the store. They tail you, but don’t say anything or offer any assistance. I once actually took two steps backward and bumped into the shop assistant behind me, on purpose. Two steps! For crying out loud! Those people make me claustraphobic!
Karen, you’re not the only one who feels cold when their tops and bottoms don’t quite meet up! Argh, I suffer from that all the time.
Oh good! I thought I was a freak or something!
RE shop assistants: having worked in retail for four years, I know that they’re supposed to ask each customer at least once if they need any help. If the customer doesn’t need help, then the shop assistant should disappear. If the customer needs help after saying no, it’s then the customer’s job to ask for it. I don’t know shop assistants who dog you either.
Hmmm. I’m happy if a pair of jeans fits frankly. Being 6 feet 1 inch tall (I recently discovered this - I’ve spent the last 15 years thinking I was only 6 foot) - that’s 185cm in case you were wondering, my main criteria is
a) does it do up
b) is it long enough
With that in mind I recently went shopping and found a pair of jeans - flared but thankfully not hipsters (I don’t know if hipsters come in my size but ewwwh I hope not) that I’m trying to wear at every and any opportunity. Main reason is that they’ll be out of fashion in a season so this is it.
Mmm - I think jeans are a great torment to women-kind!
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