/karen/

Week recaptured

Tuesday, 20 January, 2004

Long periods of intense activity often need to be balanced by equally long periods of non-activity, rest and respite. Perhaps that's why I haven't touched this blog in a week. On Thursday night Tim and Liz from over our back fence graced us with their presence for dinner. I made Thai Beef Salad—quite a brave effort on my part since my normal rule of thumb is “Don't make for guests anything you haven't made before” because it will probably turn out like Bridget's blue soup, omelette and marmalade. But it was not that kind of disaster (it wasn't a disaster at all!) and, despite the presence of raw tomatoes and cucumber, Ben had seconds and gobbled up the leftovers the following day. Since Tim and Liz had watched Spirited Away with me and liked it, I decided to show them Laputa: Castle in the Sky. They pointed out some similarities I hadn't noticed before which I thought were interesting. Because I stayed up so late, I slept in on Friday morning. I went to have a biopsy done for that lump on my neck which has been there for the past couple of months. I've already had an ultrasound for it but my doctor said it was a good idea to have a biopsy to be 100% sure that everything is fine. I wasn't too worried about having it done; unlike Ben, who fainted dead away on the floor the first time he ever went to give blood (and this was at the stage where they prick your finger to test your haemaglobin count), I'm not that squeamish about needles (I just don't like seeing them go into me). However, the doctor who did the biopsy had to wiggle it around a little in order to get enough material for the sample. Good thing he warned me; he had to do it three times and my neck was very sore afterwards. I had Kere and Tim (different Tim) over for lunch and we read the Bible. We were going to watch some Cowboy Bebop but somehow Tim talked us into playing Scruples instead. I must say, I am spectacularly bad at that game; I just don't know how to argue, discuss or debate. It didn't help that I didn't know Tim all that well, for Scruples is a game that gets more fun the better you know your co-players. But at least I gave it a go. I do like games, even though I'm not as game-crazy as some of the people at my church (like Liz's Tim who makes up his own games). Ben and I had to go to counselling so we dropped Kere home. I can't remember if I told you guys that Ben and I are doing counselling. I probably didn't—perhaps it's because a lot of people would think it a shameful thing to “admit”. But I'm not afraid to say we go to counselling. Counselling is great. Several people recommended it to us because of Ben's depression but while we're there, we don't focus much on Ben's depression; instead we have a look at our marriage. One thing I've been learning through our sessions is how much your family situation can affect the way you behave with your spouse. To use a small example, when we go to parties or other large social events, often I will want to stick close to Ben and I will get a bit annoyed if he goes off and leaves me by myself. I am also paranoid about groups of people who, upon me joining their circle, all seem to migrate out of the area within several minutes of each other (you know what I mean?). And I know it's not me (surely it's not me!); it's my brain dishing up those feelings of being abandoned which were a result of my parents' divorce. So that's why I behave the way I do. Knowing that now is useful because I can call my brain's bluff and say, “It has nothing to do with that at all.” Kind of liberating. It's sometimes hard to go to counselling because you're opening yourself up to being vulnerable. It's hard to do that with a stranger, let alone your own husband. I can't say I always look forward to going but I know it's good for us. Our counsellor said it is really an investment for the future—to save us from having more major problems further down the track—and she's probably right. In the evening Ben went off to Planet Bob to burn MP3 CDs and hang with the boys who were slowly going through the whole Friday the 13th cycle of movies so that they could better appreciate the Freddy vs. Jason movie. I stayed home and did 3 weeks' worth of ironing while watching Bridget Jones's Diary. On Saturday we drove up to Sydney, picked up Denise and headed on to Christchurch, St. Ives for the wedding of Toby and Mary whom we know from UNSW. Despite the bride being half an hour late, it was a lovely wedding. When Toby emphatically declared, “I will!” in response to his vows, Mary just as emphatically said, in front of the whole church, “Good on you!” It was great to witness their wedding and to catch up with old friends from UNSW afterwards. In the afternoon Ben and I headed south, stopping off at my in-laws' to return some shoes and get changed out of our wedding clothes. We headed out to Cronulla with the intention of walking along the coastal path (very pretty!) but we got about halfway along and were a little too cold and hungry to continue. We had dinner at India Aroma in Miranda, and because they added up our bill incorrectly, they let us have the meal a little cheaper than usual. We drove back to Wollongong, got sucked into hiring out a stack of videos for $10 and spent the evening watching Deconstructing Harry which was all right, though Woody Allen is very annoying!! On Sunday I rose early with the intention of getting all this stuff done before my friends arrived for yum cha and frivolous DVD-watching. I had to make a card and a cake (peach and pear kuchen—it's the only type of cake I know how to make) for Liwen's birthday but I was out of sour cream. I went out to buy some and ended up chatting for half an hour with our neighbour in No. 4 because I hadn't seen her in a while. So my friends were pulling into the drive just as I finished the conversation and I had to leave them for a while so I could go get sour cream. Yum cha was ... yum! ... and made all the more hilarious by the fact that Ramya and Anita, both Indians, kept asking for more chilli sauce to smother on their dumplings. We spent the rest of the afternoon watching extra features from Bridget (I showed them the Ice Ice Baby deleted scene—“Aloof ... unavailable ... aloof ... unavailable...”) and extended bits of The Two Towers. Anita was mollified by Peter Jackson and Phillippa Boyens' explanations for Faramir's change of character but Liwen still had to get over the hurdle of David Wenham/Diver Dan. We also watched 2 minutes of Black Hawk Down in order to watch Orlando Bloom die (that film looks extremely boring; not sure if I should bother watching it) and then I returned all the movies I had borrowed to Liwen (who likes to buy DVDs but does not own a player). I had to go off to church for band rehearsal. Jody wasn't there so I ended up leading the service again. Shaun preached an awesome sermon on 2 Timothy 3:14-4:5 and “The Bible is God's word. So what?”. We've just started a series based on The Blueprint and the AFES doctrinal statement and I'm looking forward to hearing the subsequent messages about why what we believe actually makes a difference. Too many people think doctrine is boring and can't understand why councils were convened during the medieval period to work out creeds and statements of faith. But really these things are very important and we wouldn't be where we are today if Godly men hadn't stood up and defended the truth. Fi was at church that evening so I gave her my folder of wedding invitations and programs (collected over the 8 or 9 years I've been going to weddings) so she could get ideas for hers. I wanted to go to After Supper Supper (in an effort to spend more time with church people to get to know them better) but we were delayed somewhat because Ben hadn't set the rice to cook before he left for church and we had to wait for that so we could eat our dinner. Still, we were able to spend a bit of time at After Supper Supper. (It's kind of nice to write out your entire weekend like that because otherwise you forget what you did. Not that it's necessarily important to remember, but writing helps you process it. I find that, when people ask me about my weekend, I only talk about one major event, not the whole weekend. I feel it doesn't do the experience justice but it's really all that people are usually interested in, which is fair enough.) Work has been dull but at least I haven't spent the entire twiddling my thumbs; I've been doing a lot of web work and have been hassling staff members for information. I also had to proofread an article by some Japanese academic for my director and it was written in the most appalling English I have ever seen. The best bit was when he was talking about “family units which consist of parents and immature children”. In my spare time at home, I am busily preparing for Unistarters—posters and folders and stuff to stick in the folder. We have a staff meeting tomorrow which I can only attend for the final hour because I have to work, so I'm writing a letter for Ben to present to the rest of the staff outlining stuff that I need to ask them all. Better get down to doing that now ...

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