Lizz’s Adventures: Lizz and the Crazy Shop Assistant

11 May, 2007

I just spent $24 on an eye pencil.  Unfortunately I’m not exaggerating.  The scary thing is that the woman just about tried to sell me everything else in the shop as well.  The conversation went something like this:

Woman: Can I help you? Oh, these are great, aren’t they?
Me:  Yeah, I’m just thinking it’s about time to get a new eye pencil.  Maybe a dark one?
W: Great! As you can see, there’s “Black”, “Onyx”, “Charcoal”.  Let me show you.

*she scribbles all over my hand with dramatic strokes.  The colours look exactly the same.*

W: ...and the best thing is that these don’t smudge!

*she tries to smudge the lines*

W: See?
M: That’s great.
W: So which colour do you like best?
M: Um… Onyx?
W: Yes, so do I. It’s just that bit more dramatic.  That’s $24.
M: *shock*

*At this point she gets really excited*

W: Of course, now that you’ve got the black one, you’ll know that the current trend is to put on the purple [*scribbles purple*], smudge it a little [didn’t she just say it doesn’t smudge??] and then put the black over the top, see?

*I notice she’s applied this technique to her own face...badly*

M: Well, actually I’m really just after the one--
*ignores me*
W: Let me get something for you so you can get that muck off your hands!  *Haha!*

*Whips out a blue bottle and squirts it sharply at my hand*

M: [eek!]
W: This stuff is great.  You know, it’s really important to have a good make-up remover. [*hint hint*] Would you like some? I can just--
M: I’m fine! Really!
W: Ok then, I’ll just get this pencil for y-- Oh! How about a nice shadow? We have a lovely selection at the moment.
M: I’ve got mountains of the stuff, but thanks.

*Meanwhile someone over the other end of the shop is asking about the price of the Mother’s Day Pack*

W: The Mother’s Day Pack!!!! Have you gotten one for your mum yet? I’m sure she’d love---
M: My mum doesn’t really wear that much make-up, so…
W: Are you sure?  Because it’s only--
M: No, I’m fine! Really!
W: Alright then.  We’ll just get you this-- Ah yes! Would you like a sample of our primer? It contains two days worth and… [blah blah blah]
M: [this better DARN well be free!] Yeah, ok… [whatever...I just wanna get out of here!]

FINALLY the payment!

W: Ok, so is this on savings?

I think she tried to swipe the card about 10 times.  Meanwhile I’m thinking to myself “maybe this is a sign...” It finally worked, of course, but my GOODNESS!  I think she was still trying to sell me things when I walked out of the shop!  The crazy woman!

Marianna

11 May, 2007

This is our Biblical Studies Lecturer.  She’s mad cool and we love her to bits.  You may gather that she says “Watch this space!” an awful lot.

my name means…

04 May, 2007

E	Earthy
L	Lovable
I	Irresistible
Z	Zonked
A	Awesome
B	Brainy
E	Exhausting
T	Tender
H	Honorable
B	Brilliant
E	Excellent
I	Intense
L	Lucky
H	Humorous
A	Ambitious
R	Rounded
Z	Zippy

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

In a parallel universe…

29 April, 2007

this is what we imagined the teachers to look like:

For more, see the extended entry.
All pics by me.

Being Creative

19 April, 2007

At college, my friend Tori and I have this habit of scribbling away during class.  We satirise the teachers, draw little cartoons of each other with our “boyfriends” (read: seedy, old and ugly men) and generally try to make each other laugh just enough so that the lecturers don’t notice.  Once of twice we have nearly passed out laughing, and many times reduced the other to tears of hilarity.

Here is one of the latest creations from the minds of Tori and Lizz.  This page was done during our New Testament class yesterday.  Our lecturer kept making little comments that boggle the mind - and fuelled our imaginations!  All the drawings on this page are by me, with Tori contributing rather to the ideas behind the cartoons.

The first cartoon is called “To drink from a firehose”, and was inspired by our lecturer quoting that “to read the book of Mark is like drinking from a firehose”.  That is, so much information is being thrown at you in such a short space of time.

Second, we re-imagined the “Sons of Thunder”.  Two of Jesus disciples were nicknamed the Sons of Thunder, so this is where this idea comes from.  In this pic we have drawn two scary-looking boys with their younger brother.  Notice that they have matching T-shirts, like members of a club.

After the Sons of Thunder picture, we thought they should have a counterpart and came up with “The Daughters of the Snow”.  The also have matching outfits and are covered in snow.  There are four regular members of the group, and one reserve (a snowman whose wig doesn’t fit and has a rather old and too-small T-shirt!).

Lastly, Marianna (our lecturer) said something about us “all being in the school of suffering”, that is life.  She went on to say “and i don’t mean Wesley Institute, although ‘Wesley Institute; School of Suffering’ has a nice ring to it.” As you can well imagine, we ran with that idea and created an emblem and list of courses for WI: School of Suffering.  The emblem includes pics of a cat-o-nine-tails, a noose, a bloody dagger and someone on the rack.  The list of courses reads:
WE OFFER COURSES IN THE FOLLOWING:
—The wrack - relax and stretch those limbs!
—Whipping for recreation (victims req’d)
—Developing and sustaining depression
—Bloody wounds and the most painful to inflict (practical)
—Hang, Draw and Quarter available as an elective
—Pain elective (compulsory)

* Please know that we are not making fun of suicide/self-harm/depression.  We both know first hand that these are serious conditions and debilitating illnesses.  We are simply being ironic for the purposes of entertainment.  (So don’t sue us!)

Hope you enjoy! Let me know if you wish to see more madness from us in future.  We’ll be happy to oblige!

“I’m not dead!” and Easter Stuff

18 April, 2007

Well, I knew I hadn’t posted for a while, but I didn’t realise just how long it had been.  I suppose I felt I didn’t really have anything to say.  Now, though, I’m wondering how I can summarise the last few months in one post!  Here goes…

I started back at college in the second week of February.  It was lovely to be back with all my friends again after such a long break - three months - during which time I only saw my college friends twice!  Since then I really feel like friendships are being cemented and I’m feeling more appreciated by those who I hadn’t felt close to in the past.  I guess I get into the habit of thinking that some friends are just being polite and “they don’t REALLY like me, they’re just taking pity”.  I’m thankful to be proven wrong this semester in the case of more than one person.  Thankyou to those people - you probably don’t know who you are, but thanks anyway.

Preparations are still going on for the Europe Tour.  We have all organised our passports and the paperwork has been sent off to the tour managers.  I have recently started seeing my psychiatrist again to help me prepare for the journey in terms of my anxiety issues.  I’m feeling more confident already, even after just one session. 

I got a hair cut! Hurray! My hair used to be down to my shoulders, but I got it cut up to the base of my neck.  It’s also very layered.  I like the way it works with my waves and curls. 

The biggest news of late is of Wesley’s involvement in the Easter Celebrations this year.  We, the music department/choir, took part in a Palm Sunday march from the Opera House to First Fleet Park in Circular Quay.  I was asked to dress up as a Jewish woman.  I think I was wearing a moo-moo and a bed sheet, but it was effective.

Then, on Good Friday we performed in a 45 minute production at the Wesley Mission.  Our particular part was thrilling - we got to stand there on the stage for the entire production.  Talk about amazing… It looked great, but boy was it a pain in the neck during rehearsals! 
Despite my initial attitudes towards the play (I thought it was crap...), I must admit it turned out very well and was quite a success.  The Gospel was presented after the performance and we took Communion.

(l-r) Vicki, Tori and I at the practice for the production - slowly going insane

Easter Sunday we, the choir, take part in the annual Dawn Service broadcast live from the Sydney Opera House at 7am.  This means getting to the Opera House at 4:30am for run-throughs etc!!!  4:30am… It was tough, but the overall experience was definitely worth it.  I WAS ON TV!!!  We performed one song, “Oh the Blood” and lead the singing of the hymns.  Here are some pics from the day:

Our principal and choirmaster, David “Dr DJ” Johnston

Looking wide-awake and trés impressed


Singing “Thine Be the Glory”

Some excitement spiced up the morning when Tori and I notice that one of the cameramen was n’t looking so hot.  He was coughing and spluttering into his hankerchief, and looking very much as though he might pass out.  Then we saw him lying on the carpeted stairs looking very ill indeed.  We glanced at each other - “oh crap… the poor man is going to DIE during the filming of the service!” That would definitely have made the top ratings!

Lizz thinks… #2

18 April, 2007

Why is it that the people whom you know to be personally insecure, seem to exude the most confidence?

Diary Art

31 January, 2007

Students everywhere know that to decorate one’s diary is not only fun, but essential.  Who can live with a boring (school) diary? And, yes, while technically it is against school rules to decorate one’s diary, many do it anyway.  Over the years diary art has ranged from the simple - scribbles, signatures from friends, magazine/celebrity photos, lolly wrappers - to the masterful.  What started out as a sensible diary, can become a work of art. 

I, myself, was not immune to the trend.  During my highschool years there was hardly a page without something on it besides my homework assignment. Infact, sometimes it was hard to find space to write my list of tasks.  Most notably, in Year 8 my diary was filled with lollie wrappers, year nine saw the pasting of Elijah Wood/Lord of the Rings pictures on every third page, while year 10 was the year I wrote Keith Green and Rebecca St James lyrics over every few pages using highlighter (because you can still write over it!). 

Now, I am in college, and I still feel the need to put stickers on the pages, and scribble away.  I just feel that if I don’t like looking at my diary, then I won’t want to use it.  Secondly, if I’m feeling down, a happy sticker or funny drawing could just brighten up my day.  So, here are some of my drawing so far (and I’m sure that by the end of the year, there will have been many, many more created.)

Don’t ask me why Mug says “Yip! Yip! Yip!”.  I guess it’s because he’s a little deranged.

I was thinking about calling her ‘Dot’.  She looks as if she’s tried to fly out of the page and hit the invisible barrier.

This turned out to be a lot blacker in humour than I expected.  I was just going to draw a cute/crazy worm, but then he looked worried and I wondered why…

This picture appears on the Exam Week page of my diary.  I thought she might cheer me up should I get stressed.  Notice the high-heels and lippy.

Now, some of you may be puzzled, for anyone who knows me knows that I am afraid of bugs - worms = wonderful, but bugs and arachnids = NO!!!!!  Therefore, you may be wondering why I’ve decorated my diary with them.  The answer is, I honestly cannot say.  Perhaps because they are so easy to draw and that with silly expressions on their faces. Anyhow, these make me smile, if not laugh, so I guess they’re staying.

A Little TV and Music Never Went Astray

14 January, 2007

On Thursday we went to the Powerhouse Museum with some friends of my parents, which was nice, but I kind of missed the presence of someone my own age to hang with all the same.  We went specifically so Dad could see the ”50 Years of Australian Television” exhibition which turned out to be much more exciting and interesting than i expected. The reason for this being that they had lots and lots of costumes from all our favourite shows.  For example, I saw Mike Moore‘s (aka Rob Sitch, FRONTLINE) hair (aahh!!!) which I joyfully reported to a friend of mine who shared a crush on him during Year 12. Mr Squiggle was also there, as well as Humpty, Hamble and Jemima from PlaySchool, and Humphrey B. Bear‘s vest and honey pot.  There was heaps of stuff from Home and Away and Neighbours, including old scripts and props.  From Blue Heelers they had PJ’s old office set up which you could sort of walk into and Lisa McCune’s blood-stained, death-scene costume.  There was heaps more, but I’ll spare you.  You’ll just have to go and see it for yourselves.

The other exciting exhibition I had a look at was the Musical Instruments one.  I think I very nearly cried.  haha! There were instruments from as far back as the 1600s!!!  A Virginal (precursor to the Harpsichord and subsequently the Piano) from c.1629, a Harpsichord from c.1763, and various flutes and violins also dating as far back as the 1700s.  I got so emotional. I think I very nearly scared the wits out of some of the other patrons as I raved to myself “Oh my gosh!! Oh my goodness! It’s all so beautiful! Look at it!!”

One thing that I really couldn’t get my head around was the scenes that had been painted on the inside of lid of the Virginal and a Dulcimer also (similar to the decoration on the Virginal shown in the link).  My first thought was “Oh look! They’ve painted historical scenes on the inside of the instrument.” But then I realised that no, these were scenes of everyday life for them.  Those clothes were the clothes that they wore at the time, and those buildings would have been modern for them.  I just could not grasp the concept, since it is not something that we seem to do nowadays.  I cannot imagine anyone painting a modern scene on the inside of a piano, or on a keyboard, or on a flute case etc.  Does anyone think/know differently?

On the same level there was a small collection of assorted artefacts from Egypt, Iran, Greece and Italy dating from as far back as 300 BC up to about AD 100.  I was rather amused to over-hear one woman look at them and remark “oh, these are quite old aren’t they” I felt like hitting her over the head and replying sarcastically “Well gee—Do you think??” I didn’t of course - I muttered it under my breath instead.

Overall, it was a really great day, and I even got to ride in the glass elevator!!!

An der Copacabana

08 December, 2006

I love this song from Austrian band: Die Erste Allgemeine Verunsicherung.  The song is about a guy who is in love with a girl, Hilde, and thinks that to impress her, he must make himself a buff, body-builder type. Why? Because everyone knows that that’s what’s fashionable in all the coolest parts of the world, and more importantly, it’s what the ladies want. Isn’t it? Hmmm…

Unfortunately for our guy, he goes to the gym, spends two years building his body to look like a beefcake and when he goes back to impress Hilde, she’s already married!  To add insult to injury, Hilde chose to marry “a string-bean”.  Then both she and her husband tell the man that Bodybuilding is incredibly daggy and has been out of fashion for a long time.

Ich bin eine Mischung, die ist ziemlich lecker
Aus Albert Einstein und Arnold Schwarzenegger.
So weit, so gut, doch das Dumme ist nur
Ich hab Schwarzeneggers Hirn und von Einstein die Figur.
Ich lieb die längste Zeit schon die schöne Hilda
Doch ihr Herzblut schreit nach einem Bodybuilder!

Ihr zuliebe kauf ich mir einen Expander.
Doch der druckt mich zsamm, statt ich ihn auseinander.
Da hilft kein Spinat und auch keine Polenta
Darum eile ich ins nächste Fitnesscenter.
Doch vor dem Eingangstor, da steht ein Sportlerchor
Und fünf Mörderhenker singen mir ins Ohr:

A uga aga uga, a uga aga uga

An der Copacabana und am Wörthersee
Starke Männer sind nie passé.
An der Copacabana und am Schotterteich
Bei Muskeln werden alle Mädchen weich.
Weil Marmor, Stein und Eisen schmilzt
A wenn du deinen Body buildst.

Die Fitness-Folterkammer ist ein Gruselkabinett
Da quält sich die Elite, bis daß ihr die Luft ausgeht.
Mr. Oberschenkel, der aussieht wie Godzilla
Die Anzahl der Gewichte färbt sein Antlitz lila.
Bei 180 Kilo macht er einen Röhrer
Und er läßt einen fahren wie Conan der Zerstörer.

Nach zwei harten Jahren ist es dann geschafft
Ich kann kaum noch gehen vor lauter Kraft.
Wenn ich meine Muskeln auf den Buckel schupf
Schau ich aus wie ein geölter Gugelhupf.
Wenn man die Hanteln druckt und die Gewichte stemmt
Und Proteine schluckt, braucht man bald ein neues Hemd.

A uga aga uga, a uga aga uga

An der Copacabana und am Wörthersee
Starke Männer sind nie passé.
An der Copacabana und am Schotterteich
Bei Muskeln werden alle Mädchen weich.
Weil Marmor, Stein und Eisen schmilzt
A wenn du deinen Body buildst.

Mit geblähtem Brüstl klopf ich bei der Hilde
Die Tür geht auf, ich hüstel, und ich bin im Bilde.
Neben ihr ein Spargel, ein Spaghetti-Sultan
Ein Typ mit breitem Kopf, dafür hat er schmale Schultern.
Es ist ihr Ehemann, wie die Zeit vergeht
Und er singt mit Hilde im Duett:

A uga aga uga, a uga aga uga

An der Copacabana und am Wörthersee
Starke Männer sind längst passé.
Nur am Schotterteich von Mistelbach
Wird vielleicht noch die Christl schwach.
Marmor, Stein und Eisen schmilzt
Wenn du aus deinem Anzug quillst.

An der Copacabana und am Wörthersee
Starke Männer sind nie passé.
An der Copacabana und am Schotterteich
Bei Muskeln werden alle Mädchen weich.
Marmor, Stein und Eisen schmilzt
Wenn du allein die U-Bahn füllst.

The choruses basically translate to: In the Copacabana (and other such “places to be” - I can’t remember the English), strong men are always fashionable.  Muscles make the women weak-kneed.  Marble, stone and iron melt when you body-build (ie. you can do anything!). 

The second last chorus reveals the “truth” - muscly men are WAY out of fashion.

I just love the humour of this song.  It’s now on my profile for a short time, so enjoy!  Also, you can check out their myspace page (yes it’s true!)